Love Of Turians
by Siha Krios
Summary: Nihlus didn't have his own character pick in the list. This starts post Mass Effect 1 with a romance build up between Shepard and Nihlus. He's such a sweety. Intense scenes and language.
1. Shepard meets Kryik

**I do not own characters from mass effect or the Normandy. All things original to mass effect belong Bioware.**

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Commander Shepard was making her rounds. The Normandy was a fine ship, but not the most convenient to get around in. Stairs _and_ elevators? Seriously, who designed this thing? The ship was on it's way to several boarder colonies for 'routine' something or other. Sonya wasn't buying it. There was a turian Spectre on board. The Council didn't send Spectres on routine missions, or prototype ships for that matter. But Captain Anderson hadn't divulged any information to her beyond the story that they were doing repeated 'testing' on the Normandy's systems, like the stealth drive. The Spectre was there to observe.

She'd seen the turian running around the ship, giving orders, standing in that turian way that made her feel like they thought they were better than 'these humans'. But there was something different about Nihlus Kryik. She wasn't sure what it was. She'd caught him looking a her while she worked. His bright green eyes shining out from the white tattoo that covered his face. Secretly she found him strangely attractive.

He was highly decorated in the turian military before he became a Spectre. She had to respect that. She grew up in the military, following her parents around. The she'd joined as soon as she could. She'd learned to fight and work hard for what she wanted. He apparently had, too, though she got the feeling it was through different means. She didn't know much about him outside his military career and Spectre missions. She wanted to.

Nihlus seemed to be spending more time around her the closer they got to the first stop, Sunny Fields, so named for the garden worlds 32 hour day. He'd hover close by and watch her work. He scrutinized everything she did. What was up with this guy?

When they landed at the colony he'd gone with the team. She'd expected it, but hoped he'd wonder off somewhere. Instead he was never more than a few feet from her. She wanted to just punch him in the face and scream at him. It was really getting on her nerves. She wasn't some kind of raw cadet. She did her best to focus on the mission.

They checked systems, mostly defense related. Supplies, food rations and water... the basics. Nihlus seemed to be looking for something, though. He'd ask questions out of ear shot of the rest of the team. That was the furthest he was ever away from her. She didn't care what he was talking about if it got him off her back.

She saw him in the mess the next day when no one else was around. Apparently the annoying Alenko guy was helping Joker co-pilot today instead of tinkering with the console he seemed so attached to. He was always eyeing her too. At least he was human, and cute. But not really her type. Too... nice. Too polite. Hell, he was a damn pansy.

Sonya walked over to where Nihlus sat, eating something that looked like prawns. She took a seat across from him. He glanced up from a data pad he was reading to nod at her, then went back to the pad.

"Hey, so... why are you always up my ass?" She asked bluntly.

He stopped eating to look at her in something like shock.

"Excuse me."

"Why are you always following me around and checking my work behind my back?"

"I do whatever I feel I need to." He said flatly.

"Yeah, well... it's getting on my nerves. I can't do whatever _I_ need to if _you're_ doing whatever _you're_ needing to is getting in my way."

She was trying to get a rise out of him. To make his spill the truth like cereal on a clean carpet. She wasn't sure it would work.

"I'm authorized by the Council to do things as I see fit. If that includes '_being up your ass_', that is exactly what I'm going to do." He didn't even look up from the data pad.

"Oh, really." She said flatly. This guy had some quads. "Fine. You wanna be up my ass so bad, why don't you come to my quarters tonight." What the hell was she thinking? Was she flirting with a _turian_?

"Why would I need to go to your quarters to examine your work..."

He'd still been looking at the data pad when he trailed off to look at Shepard. He looked shocked at the sudden realization of what she was suggesting.

"Are you trying to bribe me? What are you hiding? You must be afraid I'll find out you're doing something illegal if you're so worried about my watching you."

"No, it's just irritating to have you hovering around all the time. Like I'm some kind of incapable rookie." She admitted.

"I don't think you're incapable, Shepard." He sighed before continuing. "I'm evaluating you. I can't say more than that."

"Evaluating me for what? I don't screw up. My yearly review isn't due for another six months. Why would they send a _Spectre_ to _evaluate_ me?"

"I really can't say more, Shepard. I'm sorry." He returned his attention to the data pad, and the 'prawns'.

"OK. Fine."

Sonya slammed her open palms on the table as she stood up and walked away. She was so pissed off right now. She took the elevator to her quarters.

As she'd walked away, Nihlus looked up from the data pad. Her hips swayed hypnotically even in her angry strut across the floor. He'd never considered human before, though he supposed they weren't too different from asari, physically. He was something of a out cast among his own kind. Saren Arterius was the only one who had befriended him since he was a child. Saren was the one who saw potential in him for the Spectres and mentored him. He'd also introduced him to his first lover. An asari. Nihlus had been with only a few women, only one of which was another turian. She had been exceedingly secretive about him, as if she were ashamed of him. He broke it off with her for that reason. The resulting hostilities from her prompted him to transfer to a different ship. That was in his turian military days. All the others had been asari dancers in some club or another. This human, she was different.

Sonya lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She couldn't sleep. Why was she being evaluated? For what purpose? This was going to drive her crazy. She got up and took some sedatives out of her dresser dewar. Her head was barely on the pillow when sleep took her.

Two more colonies later and Kryik was still following her around, refusing to give her any more information. He didn't follow as closely though, that made her a little more at ease. He still watched her, but his gaze had changed somehow. It looked softer, not as harsh. He didn't seem to be judging her anymore. Was it because she'd called him out? Surely a turian wasn't afraid of a little human woman. He towered almost two feet over her. It was some what daunting, she had to admit, but sexy too. Sexy? What? But he's covered in plates and leathery... and strong with those hard... She shook her head. Kryik was staring at her. Great, now she looked like she _was_ crazy. Then she realized _she'd _been staring at _him_. She turned away and ducked into the nearest supply shed to hide her embarrassment. She wasn't xenophobic, but she'd never been interested in anything that wasn't a _human_ male before. Why was she attracted to this _turian_? She _hated_ him, didn't she? He annoyed her, irritated her. He was a bloody alien! One of a species that tried to wipe hers out not long ago.

Nihlus stood a few paces off watching the team do it's job. No new or useful information had been found, so far. Shepard was examining some security systems near by. The early afternoon sun was on her back. Her blonde hair seemed to glow white. He stood with his arms crossed, quietly studying what curves could be seen with her armor on. Over all he liked her. Why was going the extra step so odd, just because she was human? Suddenly he realized she was staring at him in a side long gaze. Did she know he was looking at her... he was always looking at her. It was part of his job. He didn't look away. That would only make him look guilty. Shepard's face abruptly turned bright pink in the cheeks. She turned and almost ran to a storage shed. Amused, Nihlus stayed put to see how long she would hide in there. Eventually she came out, walking away from him and not looking back. Her behavior suggested, to him at least, that she'd been embarrassed about something. He held back a smile as he wondered what that embarrassment may have been about.

It was almost 0100 hours and Sonya Shepard was still awake. She'd spread out the pieces to her rifle on the gun cleaning table in the loading bay of the Normandy. She had a rag in hand and some gun oil cleaning her assault rifle muzzle in her military issue sleep-wear. Whatever she was thinking about, she was lost in the thought because she didn't hear the elevator doors open or the clicking of turian feet on the metal floor.

"Late for cleaning weapons, don't you think, Commander?" a rumbling voice echoed through the empty bay. She just about jumped out of her skin, pointing the un-attached muzzle in the direction of the voice.

"I almost shot you." She spat.

"I think not. That is just an empty tube of metal, though I'm sure you might have beaten the intruder with it." He was smiling at her in his turian way.

"What are you doing down here? What do you want?" She asked, annoyed. She crossed her arms with rag and muzzle still in hand.

"I could ask you the same question. It's not standard procedure to clean equipment at 0100 hours. Are you preparing an assault on the Normandy?"

She wasn't sure, but she thought he was teasing her. "It's not standard procedure to be spied on either." She shot back. She eyed him. He was wearing his own military issue pjs.

Nihlus uncrossed his arms. "Ok. Fine." He held out a taloned hand. "Truce?"

Sonya eyed him warily for a moment, then shook his hand.

"Truce." She released her grip immediately, but the turian did not. She looked at his talons then to his white painted face. "What gives?"

"Maybe I should take you in for interrogation. You've been acting strange lately."

"I have no idea what you're talking about . Let go." She tried to jerk her hand away, but his grip was strong. She narrowed her eyes at his teasing grin.

Nihlus pulled her toward him, bending slightly to touch the backs of her fingers to his mouth. The action clearly caught her off guard, because she didn't struggle or start screaming at him. He looked into her deep brown eyes with his bright green ones. His vision went blurry for a second after a loud smacking sound made contact with his right mandible. When he could focus again, Shepard was rubbing the palm of one hand, glowering at him. He laughed.

"What's so damn funny?"

"You are."

"Oh, really." She picked up the muzzle she'd dropped when she used it to slap him. "Well see how '_funny_' you think I am when I shove this up whatever you call you ass!"

Before she could attempt to carry out her threat she found herself being thrown to the floor by a very powerful blow to the chest. It knocked the wind out of her. It took several moments for her to catch her breath. Her vision was dotted with bright spots of light.

"Do you want to rethink that threat, Commander?" It didn't really sound like a question.

"No..." she groaned, trying to get up. "I don't think I do."

The muzzle was kicked from her hand. She felt powerful claws drag her up from the floor and slam her into the wall. She could see his fiery green eyes boring into her. He still had a smile on is face.

"What are you gonna do,_ turian_?" she seethed at him. She saw his eyes flash to her mouth.

In a blur of motion her mouth was on his. His long tapered tongue was exploring her mouth, liberally. There was the sound of tearing fabric and the sudden chill of the air on her bare skin. One of his talons grazed over the tender areas of her exposed breast. The other talon was pressed hard onto the other breast and his pelvis crushing hers, holding her to the wall.

He could feel the wetness of her arousal soaking through her panties and his sleep-wear bottoms. Her eyes were closed as he explored her mouth with his tongue. He watched her chest heaving in labored breaths while he molested her body. He tore the remaining fabric that blocked his entry. His own arousal quickly exposing itself from within his body, sliding hard and wet from it's protective folds.

"Have you ever been with a turian before?" He growled in his desire.

"No." she opened her eyes to glare at him. "And I don't plan to now!" She ignited in blue, biotic flame.

She tried to fight free of his grasp. To blast him into the wall, but it was a futile effort. He secured both her hands over her head with one clawed hand, stretching her body until she had no leverage. She hooked her thighs over his hips and tried to push off, but he quickly countered her actions, slamming her hips into the wall with his. Crippling pain shot through her, sending blinding light through her vision. She cried out.

"We won't try that, again, will we? Hummm...?" he clicked his tongue as he drug a free talon down her rib cage, drawing blood.

She drew in a sharp breath through gritted teeth. Her hips and thighs were already bruised and scratched from his plates. Something hard and hot was sliding into her body. Her breathing and heart beat quickened with anticipation. Then it drew back. She saw a wicked look in his eye. He was teasing her. In a little, out a little. Over and over.

"I know you want me, Shepard. I saw you before you hid your shame in the supply shed."

Her eyes grew wide. He laughed.

"Admit it, Shepard." He growled into her ear and slid his tongue along her neck. "I want to hear you say it. Tell me you want me."

"Never, you fucking ass hole!" she panted, her biotics flaring. He slammed her into the wall again.

"Say it."

"No." she groaned.

He took a bit of flesh in his teeth and nipped her hard enough to draw blood. New bruises were already forming on her body. He teased her again and again. He skillfully teased her nipples with his tongue. He could see the blush in her cheeks and smell her arousal dripping down her legs to splatter quietly on the metal floor. He took a free talon along her thigh, just scratching the surface. He held up the collected liquid up for her to see.

"Look at it. I know you want me. You're own body betrays you. All you have to do is say it... and I'll give you everything you're so longing for."

"No." her voice was trembling, like her body. The blue halo of light pulsing.

Nihlus knew this game well. Young asari sometimes liked to play it. He took the talon with her wetness on it and brought it down over her hips and buttocks. He let the skin catch on the claw as it rounded her curves to the back entry, as it was soon about to become.

"No! Please!" She tried to struggle.

"If you struggle, it will only hurt more."

He waited for her to stop and eased the talon into her. A moan escaped her.

"There, do you like that?" He asked in a low, taunting tone.

She didn't answer. He pushed his talon a little further in. She bit her lip. He moved it in and out, always further in than out.

"Answer the question, Shepard." He ordered in his Spectre voice.

"Yes," she shrieked.

"Yes', you'll answer the question or 'yes' you like it?" He applied more pressure.

"Yes, I like it! I like it. Oh god!" She moaned.

"Good. Good." He started to tease her other area again. "Now, tell me you want me."

She turned her face away from him. He sunk his teeth into her lower scalene muscle, low enough that the uniform would cover the wound. She cried out. He released her, savoring the taste of blood on his fangs.

"Look at me, and tell me you want me."

She slowly opened her eyes to look into his.

"I want you," She breathed. He smiled at her.

"Again."

"I want you." She said a little louder. "Please."

"No." He removed the talon that was penetrating her.

Her eyes looked panicked. "Please!"

He shook his head. "Beg me."

"Oh, god. Kryik..." She couldn't take much more of this. His grip on her wrists tightened. "Please. I beg you..."

"Please what?" He ran a taloned hand up her body to fondle her breasts. His erection was full and throbbing.

"Please, fuck me, Nihlus." She panted.

There was a wet sound, and a loud moan. She felt him plunge his enormity into her. He spread her wide and filled her beyond what she'd ever experienced. She could feel every engorged vein every _rib_? Turians were_ ribbed_? "_Oh, god_!" she thought as wave after wave of ecstacy flooded her senses as he took her. Blue flames licked her skin. His growls vibrated through her.

A low grunt rumbled deep in his chest as he thrust himself deep into her body. A few quick pulses and then he slowed the rhythm. Gentle, but hard, relentless. He nipped a her nipples as they danced before him with each push. He slid his claws over her body and pushed a talon into the rear entry once again, more forceful. The satisfying sound of her cry intensified his need.

Each thrust produced an orgasm from her athletic frame. Sounds like water from a bucket sloshed to the floor. She was trying to hold back her screams. He was trying to force them from her. No one could hear them down here. Her smell was strong and intoxicating. He eased his talon out of her body in time with an orgasm, heightening it. Skillfully, he used his free hand to pull back the hood and delicately rub and pinch the tender, swollen clit hiding beneath.

She thought he was going to screw her to death. She could hardly breath, her body was tremoring so hard from the sheer number and intensity of her orgasms. If he hadn't been holding her up, she surely would collapse to the floor. She heard a growl building in his chest. It rumbled through her. Suddenly he trust himself deep and hard into her, causing her to scream. Another gush of fluid flooded to the floor. Biotic flames burst from her body. He was practically howling as she felt him climax inside her.

He released her hands. She wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder. He swung an arm around her and used the other to knock the gun parts to the floor, setting her gently on the table. She put a hand on either side of his face and kissed him the best she could. He still throbbed inside her as his member slowly receded back into it's hiding place. His lower half was completely soaked with her juices.

They stole uniforms from some near by lockers and cleaned up the mess in silence. Sonya found all of the pieces to her gun and dumped them in her locker. She'd finish it up tomorrow. She was too exhausted to do it now. She could hardly stand. Nihlus seemed to be having only a fraction of the difficulty standing as she was.

"What stamina!" She thought. "I won't be satisfied with a human ever again. He's ruined me." and she smiled to herself.

They took the elevator together and parted ways in the empty hall with a brief, awkward kiss. Over the next few days they said nothing to the other out side of a sentence or two pertaining to work, but they didn't avoid eye contact. What was said with those glances was intense and complicated. When they went to a colony he still hovered over her. He did his job. Almost a week past before he broke the silence.


	2. Whispers In The Dark

She was working alone in a supply shed. The morning dew was still on the ground, evaporating into a fine mist. Nihlus came up quietly behind her, but she knew he was there. He slid a talon around her waist. She pushed it off. He took a few steps back.

"Shepard. About the other night."

"I'm listening."

"If I hurt you or offended you... "

"You didn't" She didn't look up from her work.

"I wanted to tell you... If you would want to repeat..." He regained his composure. He was usually cool under pressure. "I enjoyed being with you and I want to know if you feel the same."

"It was a lot of fun, Kryik. If it happens again, it happens. I'm not going to pressure you or be jealous if you go off with someone else." She was trying to be adult about this.

"I don't want someone else." He said flatly. "I want more, Shepard. I want to see if this... if we can be more. I'm never going to find a turian woman who wants me. I don't fit in with my own species."

"Don't you know I hate you." Sonya said casually.

"No, you don't. You did. That has changed. You can't lie to me, Shepard. I'm trained to detect lies, especially from humans." He grabbed her shoulders and spun her to face him. She tired to free herself from his grip using her self defense training. He countered, locking her against his body. He adjusted his weight so she couldn't kick with out falling to the floor.

"Let go of me!" She said firmly. "And it's Commander Shepard."she grunted, struggling.

His green eyes flashed.

"I'm not letting go." He growled.

"Then I'm not letting go either!" She managed a short biotic burst that allowed her to free her arms and wrap them around his neck, pulling him down to kiss him. His tongue forced itself past her lips without much resistance. Shepard found the controls with her fingers and locked the doors. They kept as quiet as they could. They couldn't get caught. A faint blue light illuminated the room.

Twenty minutes later Nihlus left her to continue his rounds. He made plans to visit her in her quarters that night.

As Commander of the Normandy, Shepard had her own private quarters. They were only big enough for a single bed, small desk and a locker, but they were hers and she didn't share them. The walls were sound proofed, only to a certain decibel level so that alarms were not blocked out. Only low frequency noises, like mild snoring and alarm clocks. If the crew next door turned the music up too loud, she could hear it.

Sonya had just come back from the showers. She was dressing for bed, which was a tank and a pair of panties, wondering what the hell she was doing. She liked Nihlus. It surprised her, but she did. He had a gentle heart. He was kind. But he knew how to get the job done and wasn't above doing what must be done. He'd been reprimanded as well as rewarded for not following orders in his past. That was one reason he became a Specter. And he had that wild streak she enjoyed so much. Something you wouldn't expect from him. She was moist just thinking about it.

There was a knock on the door. It startled Sonya out of her thoughts.

"One second." She shouted. She grabbed for a robe before the door opened. "I said just a sec.."

Nihlus stepped inside and the door slid closed and locked behind him. He was still in his armor.

"What are you doing here? Did anyone see you come in?" she asked cautiously. The last time he surprised her like this it nearly killed her.

"I wanted to see you."

"You've 'seen' me all day. Aren't you tied of looking at humans?" She tied the sash around the robe.

"No." He started to remove his armor.

"In here? Is there enough room?" She started backing away. She didn't have far to go before she backed into the wall.

Nihlus crossed the small space in seconds. His 'lips' were on hers, his tongue probing her mouth. His talons on her hips. She moaned and let a hand trial up his arm.

"The neighbors will hear..." She protested.

"Then we'll be quiet." He whispered. The turian smiled and kissed her again. She returned his passion.

"I know something else you can do with that curious tongue of yours." She teased. Moments later Shepard was employing the useful sound muffling qualities of pillows.

They did this for weeks. He'd quietly sneak into her quarters. His were much bigger, but they were were guests quarters and comings and goings were harder to keep secret. Getting out was easier than getting in.

Most nights he slept on her floor. This night was no different. They didn't want to risk someone seeing him leaving her bunk and there wasn't room on the bed. He listened to her steady breathing. They'd been sneaking around for nearly two months. Two months of going to colony to colony doing remedial work. He needed to see her in action. He needed to witness her combat skills for her evaluation for Specter status. He still hadn't told her. She had finally quite asking. If anyone found out about them, any recommendation he gave would be discounted no matter how objective. But he had developed feelings for her. He cared about her more than he knew he should. Did she feel the same? How could it work? They couldn't sneak around like this forever. He heard her shift in her sleep. Looking up he saw her dark eyes peering down at him, his own reflecting the faint light from the alarm clock in a greenish haze.

"I could hear you thinking." She teased.

"Shepard... Sonya... I don't know how long this can last. Once we go back to the Citadel... I'm still a Spectre."

"It will last as long as it dose. I won't let you risk your career and I'm not going to risk mine." she said softly.

"I understand." He was quiet for a while. She still stared down at him. "Sonya, I want more. I don't want to let this go. Ever." He sat up and found her hands in the dark. "I want you to be my partner. My bond mate... whatever your species calls it. I want something more permanent with you than a fling on a pointless mission."

Alliance Commander Sonya Shepard slipped a hand free and caressed the fringe of Spectre Agent Nihlus Kryik. He purred and dipped his head toward her. She found the tip of one white streak along one fringe and traced in down over the lines on his face. When her finger found his mouth she leaned forward and gently kissed him. He had such a gentle heart.

"Nihlus..." she breathed his name to the darkness of the small room. Her eyes had adjusted and she could see the green of his eyes burning into her. The white paint on his plated face almost seemed to glow with it's own light. "You're beautiful."

Nihlus' heart rate quickened. He'd never been told he was beautiful before. Not even close. Not by his own species and certainly not an alien. He didn't how to respond.

"So are you." He finally whispered.

"It's a risk." She said.

"I know. If you are willing to take it with me, I will stand with you."

"Is there a ceremony or something?" she asked, considering it.

"It's not a requirement."

"How do we..." she trailed off.

"We, turians, have sent glands in our foreheads... like cats. It leaves the unique sent of one on the other. It marks them as a mated pair. It's not something that only happens once. It's an expression of affection and... something like ownership. There is no direct translation. I know you can't really do that for me. Your sent glands aren't strong enough. It would only be my mark on you, and mostly only other turians would notice it..."

"So it's a bigger risk for you." she said calmly. He nodded.

"They would be able to smell... you.. on me, but it dosen't mean the same thing."

"Is there something else I could do?"

"The most you could do would be to acknowledge me if asked, or be seen being marked by me in public. However, that could cause a bigger problem than if you could put your sent on me."

"In human customs, the woman usually takes the last name of the man." she suggested.

"That would be an acceptable alternative." he nodded.

"Let me think about it."

"I understand." He sounded defeated.

"I'm not saying 'no." She assured him. "I just want to think about it. I need to figure some stuff out."

"Alright" He let her press her lips on his. He waited to hear her breathing patterns signal to she was asleep and quietly left her quarters. He managed to get back to his own unseen.

The next day was more of the same monotony. A new colony, same problems. A generator didn't work, or the water supply was tainted... all things an over qualified crew should not have been doing.

Nihlus was making his way across the colony to check on some shipments coming in. He notice Kaidan Alenko talking with Sonya. It seemed innocent enough, work related, until she saw Sonya turn pink in the cheeks. She was smiling. Alenko was standing unusually close to her. He altered his path to take him unseen behind the shed where they were taking stock of supplies. He was almost there when he stopped. This was wrong. Spying on her. If he wanted to be with her he had to trust her. Sonya's laughter broke through his thoughts. He continued to take position behind the shed.

"Kaiden,"

"Since when are they on first name basis?" Nihlus thought.

"I appreciate the thought, but I'm not interested. I'm sorry if you thought I was." Sonya sounded amused.

"So, she's shutting him down..." He thought, his mandables briefly flashed a smile.

"I'm sorry, Shepard. I thought we were flirting and... I'm sorry I misinterpreted. I won't mention it again."Kaiden paused, "I need to get back to work."

"Yes, you do." the Commander agreed.

Nihlus silently left the shed and continued on his previous route. He allowed himself a moment of pride. Maybe she wasn't turning Alenko down because of him. But she hadn't turned down _his_ interest in her like she'd just done to Kaiden. He had that at least.


	3. Are You Listening?

Two days latter they left the Star Point colony. Alenko had been stand-offishly polite whenever he needed to speak to Shepard. Sonya had not given an answer to Nihlus yet, but he did not press her. They did continue to 'see' each other whenever they had a safe opportunity. Their last day at the last colony they'd stolen a couple hours by the ocean, they just talked and held hands or each other as they walked down a secluded beach. No one could have seen them. Everyone else was on the Normandy or busy with their own responsibilities.

Nihlus lay on her bed, the sheets spread over them as she cuddled next to him. They'd managed a some what comfortable position with Sonya's back to the wall if they both lay on their sides. Her creamy skin constantly had cuts and bruises. As gentle as he'd tried to be since their first few encounters, some wounds were unavoidable. She never complained. He knew a part of her liked that he was inescapably dangerous to her. It gave her a sense of security because he was on her side, that he wouldn't hurt her intentionally. The rough sex was a side effect.

He glanced at the clock. He'd only been asleep a few hours. They'd gone to sleep with him still inside her. There wasn't room for him to exit and allow himself to receded, so she'd told him to let it slide out on it's own. He'd never left his pelvis against the flesh of another while his member re-entered him without hitting air. It was a strange and oddly comfortable experience. He thought that it was because it had been with her. Without thinking he nudged his forehead to hers, as he sighed in contentment. Seconds latter his eyes opened wide with the realization of what he'd just done. Their weren't any other turians aboard, but that didn't mean they wouln't run into one on a colony or for some other reason. He stayed calm. He wasn't going to panic. It was the first time. Maybe it would wash off when she showered in the morning, something she'd been going to great lengths to do alone so the other women wouldn't see the damage. He doubted it would wash away very easily. He couldn't tell her. She would surely be furious with him for being so careless. It was too late to take it back. She was his. He might not be 'hers' by turian standards, but she was his. At least for a while. His mandibles fluttered as he held her a little tighter and drifted back to sleep. A small moan escaped her soft lips. He smiled.

It was torture to keep it from her. It was worse to be professional and callus during the day toward her. She understood. They had to keep up appearances. No one could find out. They were on their way to the last colony, Eden Prime. It was considered the most beautiful. Sonya was excited to see it. She'd told him as much the night they set corse.

"I know it's just a farming colony, but it's the furthest one out. It's more of what it represents than what it is. One more day and..." She said. She was sitting on the desk in her skimpies while he sat on the bed in hers. He was getting tired. He was always horny, for her anyway. She had let her hair down from the military bun she had to wear on duty. The long whitish locks curled up at the ends around her shoulders. Her dark eyes were so striking, they sucked him in like black holes.

"Are you even listening?" She was smiling. She was beautiful when she smiled.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm falling asleep on you. Let's just go to bed, ok? We'll be there soon enough."

Sonya came over and sat next to him on the bed. The main light was off and only the alarm clock and desk lamp illuminated the room. She placed a hand on his mandible and kissed him, gently.

"I said, I've decided to be with you." She was looking into his eyes.

"If you wanted to have sex, again, we should have been doing that instead of talking. I'm ready to pass out." he shook his head at her, madnibles revealing a grin.

"No. I mean I've decided to be you're 'bond mate'. I want to be." She took his talons in her hands.

He was still registering what she'd just said. Suddenly his face lit up and his mandibles spread in a wide smile. "When do you want to..."

Sonya cut him off by wrapping her arms around his neck and whispering, "Now."

He lay back on the bed, leaning against the wall so that she sat with her legs wrapped around his waist. Her fingers traced his face paint. The light from the desk lamp caught in his eyes, lighting them on fire. They gradually brought their foreheads together, slowly closing their eyes when they touched. He nuzzled her. She nuzzled back. It wouldn't be easy, but it would be worth it.

He woke the next morning before she did. He turned the alarm off before it could sound. They sill had a few minutes. She cuddled up to him in her sleep and sighed when he wrapped his arm back around her. Her hair had come loose in her sleep. He carefully ran a talon though it. It was silky and smooth. Strange. He liked it. They hadn't said the words. The 'three little words' that human women were infamous for wanting to hear. But they didn't need to. They just knew. He was sure she would want to hear them eventually. To be honest, so did he, but it wasn't a necessity. He nuzzled her once more, admiring the almost perfect oval smudge of moisture glisten on her creamy skin before it dried.

She'd fallen asleep with him inside her again. He had stayed awake long enough to feel himself receded. It was a feeling he hoped would never grow old. It was hard to concentrate on work, on eating, on anything but the memory and how contented he felt. No, how happy he felt. He was happy. It wasn't a perfect situation, but it was enough. He belonged to someone. Someone loved and accepted him for who he was. It was his greatest personal desire, and it had happened.

It was the longest day of his life. They would be in Eden Prime tomorrow morning, only he and Captain Anderson had gotten a message that a Prothian Beacon had been unearthed there. Things would be a little more interesting. It was a major find. He wanted to tell her, but it was need to know information. She would be informed before the drop. It would also be a valuable situation for her evaluation. He was excited.

"No. Alenko. I don't think that's how you..." She saw Nihlus out of the corner of her eye. He looked like he was waiting for something, maybe her.

"Commander?" Kaiden was looking at her.

"Lt. Alenko, how did you get to be where you are being so damn timid?"

Kaiden just looked at her like she'd slapped his hand away from the cookie jar. Nihlus was trying hard not to laugh.

"I'm sorry, Commander. I'll do the calibrations again."

"Look, I'm sorry. But you've got to get a bit of back bone. No one likes a pansy. Pull you're weight around here, soldier." She slapped his shoulder, trying to be friendly but not too friendly. He'd already 'misinterpreted' her once.

Sonya glanced up at Nihlus again. He pointed with his chin to the corridor behind him with his chin and turned to leave.

"Ok. I think you can handle this. I have to check on something. Excuse me." She left Kaiden to the task at hand and followed the turian casually at a distance. No one would be his deck right now. It was shameful to sneak off on duty for time together. They did their best to see that they didn't slack in their duties. That would cause suspicion. But stolen time was the only time they may ever have.

They kept their voices low. No need to take chances, but they allowed themselves a moan or soft growl at peak intervals. They had more room on the guest bed, so they could have a little more fun. That meant he could spread her legs a little wider. Or she could be on top a while. He usually didn't let that last long. He liked being in control. It was a turian thing.

"Let's try something new..." she suggested. She waited for him to nod and pull out so she could change positions. The action brought involuntary spasms from her body.

He smiled. It was a wicked smile. He loved to see her body's response to him. Once she'd relaxed enough to move, she lay on her stomach and lifted her butt a little. He entered her slowly, letting each rib pop into her one at a time. It sent shivers of pleasure through her, marked by wisps of blue flame. When he'd entered her fully he lay himself over her to whisper in her ear and nibble her neck. He pressed his forehead against the skin between her shoulder blades. He let her cum a few times that way before flipping her onto her back again. He liked to nuzzle her while they made love. It was a slow, passionate love they made that afternoon. He left his sent on her forehead as well as her neck and chest. Every thrust was hard and deep and she moaned his name. They reached their climax together, breathing heavily with passion, and lay in each other's arms until he had receded from her. It always made her body quiver.

"Come lay with me here tonight." He said while they dressed. Their posts had been left empty for too long. They would likely be exposed. It no longer seemed to matter.

Sonya looked at him for a moment. "I will." and then she left.

Nihlus' heart fluttered in his chest. She wasn't afraid and she wasn't ashamed. She was worthy of being a Spectre just for being willing to carry that burden.

They had been missed at their posts. Kryik got by, he was a Spectre. What he did and when was hardly anyone else's business, no matter how much they didn't like it. Shepard got an angry speech from Captain Anderson. She didn't offer an excuse. What could she say? So she took the punishment. She knew Nihlus couldn't come to her rescue on this.

"What were you thinking? I shouldn't have to be having this conversation with you. You're the damn Commander. Act like it!" Anderson always had a pretty even tone, but he had a way of letting you know the difference in his mood.

"Yes, sir!" she stood at attention.

"If you're doing something that could jeopardize this, or any other mission... I'll have no choice, Shepard." He looked her in the eyes, concerned, angry, searching.

Before Captain Anderson left, he gave her a look. She wasn't sure what it meant. He'd never looked at her quite like that before. It was almost as if he knew or suspected something might be going on. Maybe she was being paranoid. She worked thrice as hard the rest of the day to make up for the stolen time.

"You wouldn't believe how many times I had to pass up your door because there was some idiot in the hall." Sonya complained when she finally walked through the sliding doors. She shook the bun down as soon as they closed behind her.

Nihlus was sitting at his desk in the corner, typing up something on his laptop. He stopped and looked up when she entered to room.

"Give me one second." and returned to the keyboard.

Sonya started undressing. Nihlus punched a few more keys and shut the console off. He turned the lights off, save the desk lamp and joined her nudity. They shared a bottle of wine on the short sofa the guest quarters afforded.

"I think Anderson suspects something after our disappearances today." She told him. He grunted a little and was quiet for a long time.

"If he dose suspect the truth, he can't prove it. I think it mostly upsets him that we were lax in our duties more than being involved with each other, although he may worry that it could or has interfered with mine." He looked at her a moment. She wanted to ask. He was giving her the opportunity. She didn't. "Ok, I'll tell you." He sighed. She smiled.

"I was sent to evaluate you for recommendation to join the Spectres." He watched her face as she processed what he'd told her.

"What?" she asked, shocked. "That's incredible, but why me?"

"Captain Anderson talked with me about it before the start of the the mission. I agreed that you may be a qualified candidate and presented the idea to the Council. They instructed me to evaluate you. So here I am. I never expected to 'evaluate' you so thoroughly." He laughed when she gave him an evil eye.

"I'm honored that I'm being considered." She said. "I hope I'm what everyone seems to think I am."

"You are. You made it to Commander in so few years. You are more than you give yourself credit for, Sonya." He got up and took her hands.

"Come with me." He lead her over to the bed. They crawled under the sheets together. He kissed her as best he could. It was mostly tongue. It always would be with a turian. He started to caress her body.

"You are beautiful. You are powerful. You have a spirit and natural ability to lead. You are amazing... and you _don't_ need _anyone_ to tell you that." He kissed her again as he pulled her on top of him.

He entered her as he extended beyond himself, kissing and caressing while they lay together. She moaned every time a larger rib slipped inside her. Her wetness was already moistening the sheets. He ghosted his talons down the skin of her back, making her arch into him. She when to right herself on him. To move him within her, but he held her to his chest. Her hair tickled his face He wanted to feel her body quiver against him as he slowly grew into her. He could feel her tightening around him, her soft moans against his mouth. When his full erection was inside her he pumped his hips slowly several times before he released her to ride him as she wished. He wrapped his talons around her waist or grazed them over her thighs. When he felt her tighten and release her fluids over him, he carefully stroked her swollen clit with one claw. It sent shivers through her. He watch her pink nipples bounce with each movement she made, her blonde hair sway around her face. When she looked at him, her dark eyes pierced his soul. She looked celestial to him with her halo of blue flame around her body.

"Oh, right there..." She breathed. He almost never let her be in control. It was almost painful how much pleasure she gleaned from his body. She ignored the scrapes from his plating, the accidental scratch from a claw. Her loins were a flood, her body on fire with passion. Every time she brought her body down on him it was like lightning stuck her. She rolled and pumped her hips so the largest ridges rubbed against her g-spot in a way that sent explosions of light into her mind. There was nothing like making love to Nihlus. Nothing as exhilarating or exciting. Nothing she needed more than to be with him.

"Cum for me, Sonya." he breathed to her. "Cum for me again." And she did. Over and over until her body threatened to collapse.

"I will always cum for you..." she panted before a river of orgasm soaked him.

He wrapped his talons around her waist and pulled her beneath him. Her body had gone limp with exhaustion, but he wasn't finished with her. He hooked her thighs over his hips and completely removed himself from her. The shutters and moans it illicited from her sent chills of desire through him. He slid his arms under her and brought his hands up to cradle her head. She opened her eyes and he pressed his forehead to hers.

"Why did you stop?" she whispered.

"To tell you something." He replied.

"I'm listening."

"I love you." his low tone rumbled in his chest. She looked into his eyes, a serene smile on her lips. She kissed him.

"I love you." her voice was soft, and sweet... like the taste of her tongue.

Nihlus re-entered her, slowly and all at once, keeping their foreheads pressed. Bonding with her. He pushed himself into her completely, letting himself throb inside her. Feeling her body writhe in ecstacy beneath him. Their kisses became one long entanglement. Her moans joined his as he passionately made love to her. Groaning her name when they climaxed together. She moaned his in return. They lay side by side, intertwined, gazing into each others eyes until sleep took them.

He was still fully roused and inside her when they woke the next morning. It wasn't long and drawn out, but the passion was still there as they made love again before beginning the day. He was fully erect inside her, hard and throbbing. They reach their climax together. He lay himself over her. They were both panting. He rested his forehead on hers. They lay in each other's arms until he receded out of her.


	4. Eden Prime

Miraculously they were on time to duties. Commander Shepard pushed her way past busy crewmen to the cockpit. Joker and Alenko where at the helm.

"Great." She thought. "An amazing morning and I have to deal with Kaiden." He'd left her alone, but he was still annoying.

Kryik was already there. They were making the FTL jump. Joker was giving the read outs. She loved this part.

"Board is green..." Joker's fingers danced over the console. "... in three, two, one.."

There was a slight sense of vertigo when the relay sent a giant arc of blue energy to the ship, sending her flying thought space.

"Thrusters; ..check... check... all systems on line. Drift; just under fifteen-hundred K." Joker read off the data.

"Fifteen-hundred is good. Your Captain will be pleased." Nihlus complimented Joker, but something in his voice didn't sound overly joyed. Shepard was only a few feet away. He couldn't let his guard down. What they had was worth protecting from everyone else. He turned and left the helm.

"I hate that guy." Mumbled Joker. Shepard gave him a look behind his back.

"Nihlus just gave you a complement, sooo you hate him." Kaiden commented.

"Remember to zip up your jump suit on your way out of the bathroom, that's good. I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pin head. That's Increasable. Besides, Spectres are trouble."

Shepard took a military posture behind his chair.

"I don't like haven' em on board. Call me paranoid."Joker continued.

"You're paranoid." Replied Kaiden. "The Council helped fund this project, they have a right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment."

Shepard thought that was probably the smartest thing Kaiden ever said, and probably ever would say. Pansy.

"Only an idiot believes the official story." Joker shot back.

"That's even better." Shepard thought.

"You two should stop speculating. Do your jobs." She told them and gave them both a narrowed eye.

"Yes, ma'm." they said in unison.

"Commander, is something wrong? You're not usually so... moody." Joker asked. Kaiden gave him a look. She was always moody with _him_.

"Joker, Status report." Anderson was on the com.

"Just cleared the mass relay, Captain. Stealth systems engaged. We're running solid."

"Good."

Sonya quit listening. The Captain sounded pissed and she didn't need to hear more of that.

"Better brace yourself, sir. I think Nihlus is heading your way."

She started listening again.

"He's already here." Said the Captain, clearly annoyed. Joker and Kaiden exchanged glances. Joker shook his head. "Tell Commander Shepard to meet me in the com room for a debriefing." instructed Captain Anderson.

"Get that, Commander?" Joker teased.

"Yep, you made him mad. Now I get to pay for it." She teased back. She turned to go.

"He always sounds like that when he's talking to me." mumbled Joker.

"Can't possibly imagine why." Kaiden shot Joker a side long look. Shepard wanted to go back and punch Alenko in the face, but that would be bad form.

She was pleasantly surprised to see Nihlus waiting in the com room sans Anderson. She knew the Captain was on his way, but it was nice to share the air with just her turian. He was looking at footage of Eden Prime on the viewer. He turned to her when she stopped a few steps behind him.

"Commander Shepard, I was hopping you'd get here first." They exchanged quick, knowing glances. "Gives us a chance to talk." He kept his talons locked together in font of him. It made him look professional, and it kept him from putting them on her.

"About what?"

"I'm interested in Eden Prime. It's a symbol for your people. Something that says humanity can establish colonies across the galaxy and also protect them. How safe are they really?"

"Is there something you're not telling me?" She thought he'd told her everything the other night. Apparently, she was wrong.

"You're people are still new comers, Shepard. The galaxy can be a very dangerous place. It the Alliance truly ready for this?" He leaned against the console and crossed his arms. He lowered his head slightly. It was almost an apology for having to be so formal with her.

Anderson came briskly up behind her.

"I think it's time we tell the Commander what's really going on."

"This is _more_ than a shake down run." Nihlus put extra emphasis on the word 'more'.

"I figured there must be something else going on." She played along.

"We're making a covert pick-up. That's why we needed the Normandy and her stealth systems on line."

"What's the payload, Captain?"

"A research team un-earthed a Prothean Beacon during an expedition. It'still in tact. We're taking to the Citadel where they have the facilities to study it." Anderson took a position next to the Spectre.

"Obviously this goes beyond mere human interests, Commander."added Kryik. "This discovery could effect every species in Council space."

"Are we expecting trouble?" Shepard asked, she looked directly at Nihlus. Why hadn't he prepared her for this if he knew battle was coming?

"I'm always expecting trouble." His voice rumbled as he walked toward her. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"There's more," Interrupted Anderson. "Nihlus isn't just here for the tests and the beacon. He's also here to evaluate you."

"Guess that explains why I bump into him every time I turn around." She was looking at Anderson, but teasing Nihlus. Anderson narrowed his eyes only slightly and gave them both a look.

"The Alliance has been pushing for this for a long time. We want more say in the Council's decisions. The Spectres represent the Council's power. If they accept a human into their ranks, it shows how far the Alliance has come." Anderson let his hands hang by his sides.

"Not many could have survived what you did on Akuze. You showed a remarkable will to live and to protect others."

He referred to when she held off an enemy army, practically single handed. She remembered going crazy and waking up to a lot of dead enemy bodies. Probably shouldn't tell him that.

"That's why I put your name forward as a candidate for the Spectres." He was having slight difficulty in keeping his tone of voice professional. A few words slipped into the softer voice he used in private. It un-nerved him that she had such a powerful effect on him. It wasn't something he'd considered having to face, but it didn't change anything he felt for her.

"Just tell me what I have to do." She replied.

"I need to see your skills for myself, Commander. Eden Prim will be the first of _several_ missions together." His talons were locked behind his back in military fashion. He unconsciously swayed on his feet slightly. "The other colonies were mostly to buy time until certain arrangements could be made." He let his gaze stay on her a little longer than he should have.

"You'll be in charge of the ground team." Anderson interrupted. He needed them focused, whatever personal events had transpired between them, they needed to be solders right now. "Secure the beacon and get it onto the Normandy ASAP. Nihlus will accompany you though his own mission."

Shepard liked that part as much as Kryik did, but they had to do their jobs.

"Just give the word, Captain."

"We should be getting close to Eden Prime..."

"We got a problem, Captain." Joker's voice came over the com, interrupting the Captain. "We just got a transmission from Eden Prime, sir. You better see this."

"Bring it up on screen." Captain Anderson said.

They all moved toward the screen, Anderson in the they saw formed knots in their stomachs.

Gunfire, explosions. Military personnel were firing at something. One man grabbed the camera quickly giving a run down of the situation and requesting evac. He died mid sentence from a shot in the back.

Shepard looked to her companions. They stared at the screen, stone faced.

On the screen the camera shifted in the crazy way hand helds do when someone is running or walking with it. Then it came to focus on a large black ship hovering just above the colony. It had long fingers, like tentacles. It looked to Shepard like a squid. Then the camera jumped around again and there was more gunfire. It image went fuzzy.

"Everything cuts out after that. No com traffic at all." said Joker over the com.

"Reverse and hold at thirty-eight-hundred." Instructed Anderson.

The vid rewound and held. The image of the strange ship paused on the viewer. Arcs of energy leaped away from the fingers.

Kryik's mandibles twitched, just once.

"Status report." demanded the Captain.

"Fifteen minutes out. No other Alliance ships in the area." replied Joker.

"Take us in, Joker. Fast and quiet." He looked at Nihlus. "This mission just got a lot more complicated."

"A small strike team could move more quickly, without drawing attention." said Kryik.

"It's our best chance to secure the beacon. Grab your gear and meet us in the cargo hold."

Kryik turned to leave. As the doors slid open he chanced a quick glance over his shoulder to Shepard. The Captain was talking to her. Something in him twinged.

"Tell Alenko and Jenkins to suit up, Commander. You're going in." Anderson watched her as she looked at the screen.

What she saw floating over the colony made her nervous. She mentally cursed Anderson for sticking her with Alenko on this mission. She narrowed her eyes at the screen before heading up to fetch Alenko.

"Hey, Alenko... suit up." She was barely in the cock pit when she gruffly gave him the order and left.

Joker looked at Alenko and smiled. "I guess it's your lucky day, Kaiden. You get to go on a life threatening mission with the one person on this ship who hates you the most."

"Thanks, Joker. I feel much better about it now." Kaiden glared at Joker before leaving.

In the cargo hold Shepard and her team stood at the ready. Anderson was just walking toward them with Kryik.

"Your team's the muscle of this operation, Commander. Go in heavy and head strait for the dig sight."

"What about survivors, Captain?" asked Jenkins. Eden Prim was his home turf. He probably knew those people.

"Helping survivors is a secondary objective. The beacon is your top priority." Captain Anderson had to shout over the sound of the wind as the bay doors opened.

"Approaching drop point one." Joker said over the com.

Shepard saw Kryik walking up checking his weapon one last time.

"Nihlus, you're coming with us?" asked Jenkins.

"I move faster on my own." He replied, checking his sights. He forced himself not to look to Sonya as he jogged out of the bay.

"Kryik will scout ahead. He'll feed you status reports though out the mission." Anderson explained. "Other wise, I want radio silence."

"We've got his back, Captain." She tried to sound tough, professional. Her voice came out softer somehow.

"The mission's yours now, Shepard. Good luck."

Anderson held her gaze before they reached their drop point. He wanted her to do well, for the mission to be a success and for her to become a Spectre. Not the fist human to do it, though. He had screwed that up for himself, long ago.


	5. Betrayed by Death

On the surface, Shepard did what she could to depersonalize her feelings about Alenko and Kryik. She couldn't afford to be distracted. She lead the team around some rocks and up a narrow path. There were strange floating creatures. She vaguely heard Alenko say something and Jenkins explained that the creatures were harmless. 'Gas bags', he'd called them. She thought about popping one just to see what would happen and thought better of it. She continued up a path past a pond. There were dead bodies.

"What happened here?" Jenkins asked over the com.

The path opened up ahead. She knelt down and held up her fist, signaling her team to wait. She scanned the area. There were plenty of places for cover. That meant enemies could be waiting for them. She listened. Examined the ground. No shuffle marks for foot prints. No sounds that could be heard over the wind. She tried to ignore the devastation of the colony below and the giant ship in the distance. She motioned to move out.

Alenko took cover. Then Jenkins moved out. Shots zinged through the air. Two armed scout bots hovered out from behind a didn't have a chance.

Shepard darted to cover, pistol in hand. Leaning out of cover, she fired several shots into the nearest drone. She saw Kaiden's bullets fly and miss his target.

"Damn it," she thought. "Of the two, why did Jenkins have to die?" It was a cruel thought. Alenko was the more experienced solder, so she was better off to have him alive. She knew that.

More shots fired. Shepard ducked back into cover. She loaded her weapon with warp ammo and fired at the remaining drone. It exploded.

Shepard met Alenko at Jenkin's body. He was knelt down, closing the lids. He stood to face her. He knew she didn't care for him that much, be he was all that was left of her team now. They had to get along.

"Ripped right through his shields. He never had a chance." Alenko said.

Shepard looked at the body and back to Alenko. She'd seen dead bodies of people she'd know before. It wasn't new.

"Sometimes marines die. We'll give him a proper burial when the mission is over. Understand?"

Kaiden tried to make eye contact with her though her helmet. She dipped her head so the sun reflected off the red painted stripe on her head gear.

"Aye, aye, Commander." Alenko nodded.

There were more drones further up the path. They took them out easily enough. More shots were fired.

"Lot's of burned down buildings here, Shepard. Lot of bodies." Kryik came over her com. It was reassuring to hear his voice. "I'm going t check it out. I'll try to catch up with you at the dig sight."

Shepard took cover and fired at some more bots. There were hovering turrets now, as well. Alenko used his biotics to over load their systems, taking down their shields. Shepard shot them down. More shots rang out. Not theirs. Not at them, but near by. Shepard ran ahead. A soldier. Female, the one from the vid. She was being shot at by some kind of robots. Shepard fired. One of the synthetic's head exploded. Alenko was alight in blue, biotic flame. They gave the soldier cover fire until she got behind an out crop of rock.

Several rounds later the synthetics were on the ground in pieces. Shepard ran to the female solder so make sure she was ok, and to get some answers.

"Gunner chief, Ashely Williams of the 2-12, Commander." She recognized the rank coloration of the Commander's armor.

"Are you wounded, Williams?" Shepard asked

"A few scrapes and burns. Nothing serious..." 

"Where's the rest of your squad?" Shepard cut her off.

"We were patrolling the perimeter when the attack hit, ma'm. We tired to get off a distress call, but they cut off our communications. We tried to double back, but we ran into an ambush. We held our position for as long as we could, but the geth over whelmed us. I don't thing anyone else made it. I've been fighting for my life ever since."

"The geth haven't been seen beyond the Veil in nearly two-hundred years. Why would they show up now?" Alenko asked.

"Maybe they came for the beacon, it' at the dig sight, just over that rise."

"Ok, come with us. We could use your help." Instructed Shepard.

The headed down the hill. Tall, tapering spikes lines one side of the path. They had bodies of colonists impaled on them. It made Shepard sick to her stomach. One of the body's fingers were still twitching. Shepard had to look away.

When they reached the dig sight it was empty. They must have moved it for transport. They needed to get to the loading docks, fast.

"Change of plans, Shepard." Nihlus was on her com again. He sounded emotionally taxed. He'd probably seen worse than what she just did. "There's a small space port up ahead. I want to check it out. I'll wait for you there." The tone at end of his sentence lightened, noticeably in her ears, trying not to let his emotions take over but letting them bleed through to her.

Williams lead them up the ramp that would take the to the camp and then the space port. Some of the pre-fabs were on were more of those spikes. The people on them had been... changed somehow.

"What did the geth do to them?" Williams wondered.

They found out enough in the next few seconds. The spikes retracted, sending shocks of electricity into the bodies. They re-animated and ran toward them, howling. Shepard didn't care if they had been people. They're weren't any more and they were attacking. She took cover.

"Fire!"

The mutilated bodies charged at them. Shepard used her own biotics to send one flying into the rocks. When their shots ripped through their target, flesh and tech spewed out behind it. These new creatures were synthetic. The blue glowing, empty eyes and black tech covering the flesh that was once human, the tubes that ran in and out of the body... it sent a cold chill through her.

There were two scientists hiding in a pre-fab. Shepard learned little from them. One, a male, seemed to have lost it. She laid him out, just to shut him up. She couldn't take any crazy right now.

"That might have been a little extreme, Commander." suggested Alenko.

"Take us to the space port, Williams." Shepard ignored him.

"Yes, ma'm." William eyed the man on the floor then looked back to Shepard. This woman was nuts.

Around the bend the path lead up and down rolls in the hill. The space port was on the other side. Nihlus would be there waiting for her. She picked up her pace.

Kryik cautiously approached the space port. He took cover behind some crates. There was someone there... a turian. He moved in closer. With his back to a crate he peeked around the corner to get a better look at the figure. He couldn't see the face. He left cover and pointed his rifle, prepared to fire. His face laxed, he lowered his weapon. Could it be?

"Saren!" He said in surprise.

Saren turned to face the turian. "Nihlus."

"This isn't your mission, Saren." He held a taloned hand up in a 'what gives' gesture. Defensive. "What are you doing here?" He felt like a cadet again, being doubted.

"The Council thought you could use a little help on this one." Saren put a reassuring claw on his old protege's shoulder as he passed by him.

"I wasn't expecting to find the geth here. This situation's bad." Nihlus confessed to his friend. His eyes were drawn to the monolithic ship that hovered near by with it's arches of electric power cascading over the tentacle like extentions. He lowered his head for a second, in thoughts of Shepard and her safety. He knew she could handle herself, but he still worried. The thought of his bond with her crossed his mind. Saren would sense his mark on her. What would he think of him then? He would have to deal with that when the time came.

"Don't worry. I've got the situation under control." Saren said from behind Kryik. Nihlus' face relaxed into a defeated expression. Saren had come to take over. Had the Council lost faith in his abilities? Why had they really sent his old mentor?

Saren pulled out his gun and aimed it at the back of Nihlus' head. It was for the best.

Nihlus heard the click and the sound of the gun behind him fire before he felt the moment of blinding pain rip through his skull. He didn't have time to wonder why Saren had shot him. He didn't have time to think about anything. His eyes were pointed to the sky as his vision quickly faded. All that was left in the last few seconds of his life was the feeling of shock, then betrayal, fear. But he felt something else too as shots could be heard not to far off and the nerves in his body shut down. Love. Happiness. He'd had that before this. Somewhere in the last firing of the synapsis in his brain he remembered Sonya. She was coming for him. She said she would always come for him. Comfort. Darkness.

Shepard had almost reached the top of the hill. She heard a gun shot in the direction of the space port.

"Nihlus!" she whispered. She started running.

Geth were everywhere. The large intimidating ship from the vid was only a few miles off, looming over them like doom incarnate. Williams and Alenko said something about it, but Shepard didn't hear them. Shepard didn't care right now.

She scanned the area for the turian Spectre, her turian. Nothing. A few more shots and she ducked back into cover. Williams was a few feet over. She shot a geth with her sniper rifle. She was a good shot. Alenko was alight with biotics. At least he was good for taking down shields. Shepard left cover and fired several rounds into a husk. It fell and skidded to a halt at her feet. Williams and Alanko took out the last of the geth. Shepard started to run.

"Get those people out of there!" She shouted to her team pointing at a pre-fab shed. She'd heard a woman in there scream when a geth exploded near them.

As she neared the space port she saw something near a crate on the ground. It was long and lean with a bulk about one end... it was turian armor.

"No..." she huffed as she ran up the stairs. His body lay limp on the ground. There was a pool of blue blood around his head.

"No!" she was out of breath. Sonya knelt by him, cradling his face in her hands. A tear fell from her cheek to his. "Nihlus... " she whispered and used her fingers to close his eyes. The light had gone out of them. She removed her helmet and pressed her forehead to his, then kissed his was just his body. Nihlus was gone. He heart sank to the pit of her stomach. An emptiness filled her. It hardened in her.

Shepard heard foot steps on the dirt path. Her team was running to her. She quickly wiped away the tears and put her helmet back on before she stood. She would let him be remembered as he was, a Spectre, not as the turian out-cast who'd loved a human. Armored feet clicked across the surface.

"Commander, it's Nihlus!" Alenko said.

"Way to state the obvious, idiot." She wanted to say it so bad, but she held it back. She was afraid to speak at all. Afraid her words would pour out in sobs. In stead they came out as stone.

"We'll send a team to pick up the body when this is done. They'll have to come get Jenkins anyway." She turned to the two people behind her. "I don't want to add any more bodies to the list. Stay alive." she pointed an armored finger at them.

Williams saw something move behind the Commander. She drew her weapon.

"Someone's behind those crates, Commander."

They all drew their weapons.

"Come out now and I won't have to alter my last sentence." Shepard shouted.

"All right! All right!" a dock worker appeared from behind the cargo, hands raised in surrender.

"Don't shoot me! I can tell you what happened to the turian." He offered.

"Start talking." Shepard demanded. Her words were like the growl of an angry tiger.

The doc worker told her about the one Nihlus called 'Saren.' How he lowered his guard, that they seemed like they were friends until 'Saren' shot him in the back.

Shepard lowered her gun, clinching her jaw. She would find this 'Saren', and he would pay dearly.

"Where did Saren go?" She asked.

"He took the cargo train to the next station. If you hurry you can catch him. What's goin' on? Ever since tha..."

Shepard cut him off. She was in no mood to deal with this punk. "Get outta here. Go join your friends. Now!" she shouted.

"I'm going. I'm going!" the dock worker ran off.

Shepard shot Alenko a look. He decided not make his comment.


	6. Mourning

When all the enemy had been destroyed they walked down the stairs. The sun was setting. The destruction left by the geth and whatever that ship was left a massive ring of fire and char where it hand landed. The beacon was a tall, slender monument. It was glowing green.

Shepard contacted the Normandy.

"Beacon is secured..." She was mouth was moving, her voice was in her ears, but she wasn't the one talking.

The Normandy was sending a pick-up shuttle and Williams was saying something to her. More military observations or suggestions. It didn't matter. Something behind the woman caught Shepard's attention. Alenko was floating in the air in front of the beacon! Shepard reacted without thought, tackling Alenko and throwing him toward Williams. But something was wrong. Whatever force field or power had held Alenko now held her. She couldn't move. Power coursed through her like she was being electrocuted. Searing pain fried her nerves. Her face was grimacing in pain, the her eyes were forced open. Images ran though her mind, nightmarish, random. She could hear screams and shouts of panic. A horrible low rumbling sound pushing a spike through her mind. She was death of thousands and burning buildings. She could smell the smoke and stench of death. Then it all stopped. Like hitting a brick wall in a box car.

Shepard woke in the infirmary on the Normandy. She felt the worst she had ever felt in her life and she hadn't tired to sit up yet. She groaned and tried to sit up.

"Doctor, Doctor Chakwas! I think she's waking up." a male voice was saying.

"Nihlus..." She thought. "Is that you..." She put her head in her hands. Her body ached. Her head was reeling, pounding.

"Am I dead?" she asked. Her vision cleared. It wasn't Nihlus. It was Kaiden. If she was dead, then he'd died too and she was in hell.

"You had us worried there, Shepard. How are you feeling?" The doctors smooth, kind voice was like nails on steel in her ears.

"Like the morning after shore-leave." She groaned. Only it was worse than that. Way worse. Blue rain on bright green grass. She stubs a naked to on some sharp debris. A bloom of red blossoms from her big toe. It mixes with the blue rain and turns purple.

"Shepard, are you with us?" The doctor's voice cuts through the dream.

"How long was I out?" Shepard asks.

"About fifteen hours. Something happened down there with the becon, I think." 

"It's my fault." Kaiden spoke up. He was scared to death that Shepard would jump though him as soon as she was able, but he wasn't going to hide. "I must have triggered some kind of security field when I approached it. You had to push me out of the way."

"You had no way to know what would happen." she said. She felt to ill to be mean.

Kaiden grinned. Shepard was never nice to him. It was pleasant, even if it was because she was in pain.

"Actually we don't even know if that's what set it off." Said Chakwas. "Unfortunately, we'll never get a chance to find out."

"The beacon exploded," explained Alenko.

"Great," thought Shepard. "There goes the neighborhood. Spectre status, the information in the beacon...everything gone. The deaths of the colonists, Jenkins... Nihlus... all for nothing. Nothing. A jolt of pain ripped her from her mourning.

"...stem over load maybe." Alenko was still talking. "The blast knocked you cold. Williams and I had to carry you back here to the ship."

"I appreciate it..." she grumbled.

Kaiden nodded.

"Physically you're fine..." The doctor went on to tell her something about brain waves.

Shepard muttered something about unclear nightmarish visions. She just want to get out of here. Then Anderson came in. He inquired about her condition then sent everyone out of the room to inform her that Williams had been added to her team on the Normandy, and to complain about everything that had gone wrong.

"Nihlus is dead..." he kept listing things. That was the first one.

"Why did that have to be the first thing he said?" she wondered. It was tearing her up inside. She felt guilty for not getting there sooner. Maybe she could have stopped Saren. Maybe he wouldn't have tried if there were others around. She could have at least been there when her mate died, to hold him or something. Anything. She would have revenge.

"... the geth are invading. The Council's going to want answers." Anderson was saying.

"The geth would have wiped out the whole colony if I hadn't stopped them." She protested.

"I'll stand behind you and your report Shepard. This isn't about that." He continued to say that Saren was a Spectre. With him working with the geth that made him rouge. But he was one of the best and the Council was going to want proof. She was going to find it. Anderson eventually quit talking and she excused herself to her quarters. Only she didn't go there immediately. She stopped by the guest quarters first.

The doors hissed open. Her heart sank. It had been cleaned. All his personal objects boxed up for the next of kin. The sheets smelled fresh, and were neatly tucked instead of rumpled and smelling of them, of their last moments together. She brushed a hand over the keyboard he'd used only last night. She searched the dresser, empty. The desk, empty. It was all empty. She went to her quarters. She stood in the door way. His sent lingered in her room. She slowly removed the uniform. She lay on the bed, nude, tracing the scares from his talons and plates and teeth with her fingers. She could smell him there. She'd never noticed before, the way she could smell him around her. It was an earthy, deep smell. If a smell could be deep. She rolled herself up in the sheets and curled up around her pillow. Grief took her, mind, body and soul. She shuttered on the mattress, soaking the bedding with bitter tears. It would not be the last time. The pain lessened over time, but Sonya Shepard-Kryik would mourn his loss all her life.


	7. Vakarian

**I summarized some events for time and space reasons. This story is more about relationships anyway. We can play the games if we need the action. We all know what happens. ^_^**

* * *

Shepard was a Spectre. The Council revoked Saren's status and now she was on a mission to stop him. She would not stop until she had. She had no intention of turning him over to the Council when she found him. She was going to take him apart, one plate a a time, staring with those oh, so sensitive fringes... Nihlus always purred when she stroked his fringe. She missed the feel of his breath on her neck when he did. It was soft, like feathers. Saren. Hate boiled in her gut.

The Normandy was hers now. Anderson had stepped down so she could pursue this rouge Spectre. And she had another turian in tow. She would have a constant reminder on her crew. She hoped it didn't drive her mad.

Weeks past. Months. She fought and killed. She destroyed anything that stood in her way. She was an agent of justice and vengeance. She would have her vengeance. She wasn't unmerciful. She let the rachni queen go. She thought it was what Nihlus would have wanted. He had a tender heart.

Shepard slowly let Kaiden in. Just a little. He was a nice guy, just too polite. Too timid. Not her type. They'd picked up an asari too. The daughter of Saren's second in command. She wasn't much use for information on Saren or as leverage against her mother. She did come in handy with the annoying beacons that kept downloading their message into her brain. She helped her figure them out and taught her to meditate the nightmares away. She was a gentle soul. Sonya liked her, but not like that. It was an awkward conversation. She also had t shut Kaiden down, again. But she was kinder this time.

Most nights she curled up with the sheets on her bed and tried to remember everything. She'd washed them eventually, and the smell was gone, but the memory was 'd managed to find the box of his personal belongings and steal a few things to keep of him. His ID tags, a holo of him on the day he was made a Spectre. The sleep shirt he'd worn the first time they'd been together. Other nights she'd go to the quarters belonging to the armory merchant that worked out of the cargo bay. He was cute, and large. He wasn't turian, but he was usable. She didn't want another turian. She wanted Nihlus, and he was dead. So she played with the merchant. It was a source of stress relief. Of something to keep her mind off things when the pain was too much. When the meditations didn't work. He didn't seem to mind, but sometimes she scared him. She'd gotten used to a bit of rough play. It was almost funny when she could hear him audibly swallow at her advance. He was only a few years younger than she was, but a bit more inexperienced.

The closer they got to Saren the more agitated she got. She was ready to take the bastard down. She didn't care about the Reapers. Not until she got Saren first. Damn turian.

Turians. She'd grown fond of the one consistently repairing the mako. She did drive the thing pretty hard. Up and down mountains, over cliffs. Not to mention the temperatures it had to endure and the enemy fire, the threshermaws. He was young, too, for a turian. He had lighter coloring than Nihlus. Blueish-green eyes instead of the bright piercing green. Most of Garrus' face was exposed, not covered in markings like Nihlus'. Garrus had a pretty simple pattern of blue across his cheeks, nose and on the back half of his mandables. It sometimes made her wonder what Nihlus would have looked like without so much paint on his face. Though she had found, and still felt, that Nihlus' were the most beautiful. She knew that was not their purpose, but that didn't change the aesthetic appeal. Of corse she was bias.

She'd come to notice Garrus' appeal more and more. Mostly in battle. He was a good solder. He was becoming a good friend. He'd taken shots for her more than once. He was a little timid around her, but not like Alenko. More of a species difference kind of uncertainty than a 'I don't have any balls' kind of way. It was kinda cute. But she wasn't interested in anything beyond friendship right now. Not with him or anyone else. Merchant boy was a toy. She couldn't even remember the guys name. He can't give her a discount, she can't remember his name. Yeah, that was how it worked.

Shepard thought she was going to have to kill Wrex on Vermire, but it all worked out. She saved the one sane salarian captive and let the asari aid go. She had a nice chat with the creepy Reaper after another lovely experience with a beacon. Ashley Williams died to protect the nuke. Saren had almost killed her when she tried, in her blind rage, to kill him. She would have said something to him about killing Nihlus, but that was about the time he'd picked her up by her neck and was holding her out to watch her die. She was pretty sue it was Garrus who fired the concussive shot to distract him. She managed to get away and live another day, but so did Saren. At least she got to shoot up some geth.

Shepard was making her rounds. She found she enjoyed talking with each member of her crew at least once a week. And she figured it was good for morale. The quarian irked her. All the girl ever did was moan about home and her pilgrimage, or how much daddy didn't love her enough. She listened, at least it was someone else's pain. She tried to offer advice to toughen Tali up a little. Sure, she could handle herself in a fight, but life was a different story. Life dosen't stop the punches or ease up because the last few rounds were rough. Life kicks you when you're down. Life makes all the flowers you're allergic to the most beautiful and sweet smelling. Life brings you, against all odds, together with your soul mate and then kills him off. Fuck Life.

She tried to shake off the feeling. This train of thought was 'taking her no where, fast'. Nihlus would not want her in this frame of mind. She didn't talk to Wrex that day. He was probably still pissed about destroying the cure. She knew he understood the reasons, and even agreed with them, but the fact remained that one had been created and destroyed. If they had more time she might have tried to find the data and sent it to Tuchanka. But as it was she didn't. Ashley was gone. The last gun she was cleaning still in pieces. She never really talked to Williams anyway. The bitch had taken up residence in the corner. Their corner. It was a sacred space, now that he was gone. Williams deserved to die for tainting it. Shepard scooped up all the pieces and sold them to the merchant. It might have been wrong to feel that way about the space, and about Williams, but it didn't change anything. She couldn't help how she felt. The scorch marks from her biotics were still there if you looked hard enough.

Vakarian was working on some calibrations for the Mako. She was pretty sure he was trying to make some upgrades so it would with stand her furry a little better. He was a good guy in his own way. She decided she'd talk to him Maybe it would make her feel better, get her out of this funk she was in.

Shepard casually approached him. He was very involved in his work, because he didn't notice her at first. He was growing on her, like a fungus. He didn't like rules either. She let him do what he need to do to get the job done. She trusted him to keep anything that wasn't necessary out of the picture. Garrus suddenly saw her feet behind him and righted himself.

"Commander! How are you?" He started.

"You've been with C-sec a while. See much action?" she asked, she crossed her arms and shifted her weight to one leg.

"Not as much as you, but yea. I've seen some interesting things." he nodded.

"I bet you have. Anything come to mind?" she was goading him.

"I remember this salarian geneticist I was sent to investigate. That case was a bit... disturbing."

"Why were you investigating him?"

"I was tasked with tracking black market trade on the Citadel. Most of it was harmless, nothing I needed to pursue. During the coarse of my investigation I discovered an increase in the trade of body parts, organs usually get a few of those, but not the numbers_ I_ was seeing. We weren't sure if there was a new black market lab, or if some freak was harvesting organs from _citizens_." He used his talons while he talked. Waving them through the air from time to time. He didn't really do that when talking to anyone else.

"Do you see this a lot on the Citadel?" She was concentrating hard on his eyes. She wasn't meaning to, she just was. Maybe she was trying to see the other more clearly through his visor display.

"Every so often a lab sells unwanted parts though the black market, but they're not as bad as the psychos. This case was clear cut. It turned out there was more going on than we first realized."

"How did you figure it out?"

"First, we got ahold of a sample and did DNA tests. The weird thing was the search lead us to a turian who was _still_ alive and very convinced he'd never lost his liver. After a bit of digging, I discovered this turian worked briefly for Dr. Saleon, the geneticist. So I went to his lab, hoping to find evidence of cloned organ development. But there was nothing. No salarian hearts, no turian livers, no krogan testicles."

"What, you're kidding, right?" Shepard's eyes grew large and her pupils shrank. "Why would anyone want krogan testicles?"She laughed.

"Some krogan believe that testicle transplants increase their virility. Counteract the effects of the genophage. I dosen't work, but that dosen't stop them from buying. It's 40,000 credits for a full set. Somebody's making a killing out there." He gave her a side long look. He was pretty sure she was blushing, or she was warm.

"Wha..." she cleared her throat. "What did you do about the geneticist?" She was trying to will the blush in her cheeks to vanish.

"I brought some of the employees in for interrogation, see if I could get them to talk. While I was 'interviewing' one of them I came across something suspicious."

"What do you mean 'interviewing'?" She narrowed her eyes a bit.

"Sometimes we use more aggressive tactics to get information."

Shepard narrowed her eyes, but let him continue.

"One of the detainees started bleeding profusely during the interview. We offered to patch him up and he freaked out. I ordered a full examination. Our medics found incisions all over his body, some of them fresh. That was our big break. These people weren't just employees. They were test tubes. Walking, living test tubes." he shook his head in disgust.

"He was growing parts _inside_ these people?" She was now officially freaked out.

"Exactly. He cloned the organs right inside their own bodies, then harvested them and sold them off. Most of the victims were poor. He paid them a small percentage of the sales, but only if the organs were good. Sometimes organs wouldn't grow properly... so he'd just leave it in them. Most of them were a mess, on the inside." He absently touched his own midsection at the thought. "Hidden so nobody could see it."

"You you got him, right?" She was hopeful, her face was stern.

"That's the worst part. We never caught him."

"Aww, don't tell me _that_! What the hell happend?" She was being comical, but she was serious.

"He ran. Blew his lab, grabbed some employees and headed to the nearest space doc. By the time I found out the ship was already leaving. He threatened to kill his hostages if we if we tried to stop him."

"But _you_ went after him anyway, right?"

"I ordered Citadel defense to shoot him down, but C-sec headquarters countermanded my order. They were worried about the hostages and civilian casualties if the ship was destroyed so close the the Citadel. I told them the hostages were dead anyway, that he'd just use them to make more organs. But they wouldn't listen."

"Loosing a few hostages to save lives would have been worth the risk."

"That's what I thought, but C-sec they had to do was disable that ship. Stop him from running. Maybe the hostages die. Maybe they don't. But at least we stop the guy responsible for it all."

"Exactly what I would have done."

"I just wish I could have stopped him, that's all."

Sonya noticed his features looked a little sad, or disappointed. She wanted to help him right this. It seemed to haunt him.

"Do you have any idea what happened to Dr. Saleon?"

"I sent out feelers from time to time, hoping to find something. Thought I'd found him a while back. He changed ships and changed his name to Dr. Heart, his idea of a joke., I guess. I told the military, but they weren't convinced it was him. I got the transponder frequency for his ship, but I can't get anyone to check it out."

"I'll check out the coordinates when I get a chance." She held out her and for the info.

"I was hoping you'd say that." He handed her a data pad, smiling in that charming turian way. He let go of the data pad. His face became serious again. "Commander, when you go, if it is Saleon I want to be there when you find him." He was looking her in the eye.

"Of corse, Garrus. I wouldn't have it any other way." She didn't realize she'd let his first name slip until it was out and his eyes wavered. She had a strict professional rule of using last names only. First names were for friends. She tucked the data pad under her arm and walked as casually as she could manage, without looking like she was _trying_ to walk casual, to the elevators. When the doors closed behind her she leaned her head against the wall.

"I guess I do consider him a friend..." she thought aloud to the metal box sliding up the Normandy's shaft. "We've blown up enough shit together." She laughed. The doors opened to the command deck. She punched in the location on the galaxy map and set corse. Justice was armed on it's way faster than light.


	8. Doctor Doctor

Keplar Verge was a sickly green looking nebula with a bit of white and red and weird splotches of purple. It always looked to Shepard like a big bruise or a infected sore that exploded. Nasty.

The coordinates were in the Herschel system. That was in the dark green section of the outer edge.

"Wonderful. Right were all the dried up puss is." she mumbled. No one heard her. She accessed a terminal and beeped Garrus' console in the cargo hold. "Vakarian,"

"Commander." his reply sounded distorted on the com.

"Get ready. We're going to visit an old friend of yours. I'm sure he'll give us a 'heart' felt welcome." She grinned slightly.

"Ok. Thanks, Shepard. I'll be ready." He was grinning and shaking his head at the pun.

"Vakarian," She pinged him again.

"Shepard."

"Bring Tali with you, she need to get out of the engine room for a while."

"Yes, Commander."

The air lock opened. Their weapons were at the ready. Nothing. Just cargo and empty crates. Shepard wasn't letting her guard down. It was too quiet. The moved to the hall. The room across from them was also empty. Shepard taped the button to open the doors to the central chamber. It was stuffed with giant crates.

"Ok, watch your backs, people." Shepard said into the com. She slowly moved into the next room. Scans were picking up life signs. "We're not alone."

She rounded a corner. On the far side of the room she saw something... strange. It was humanoid, but clearly not human, or turian, or salarian, or any other 'an' she knew of. It just kind of seethed where it stood. It saw her. At first it did nothing. She didn't move. Then it broke out into a sprint towarder her, gurgling or growling. Whatever it was, it was about to not be. She shot it in the face with her pistol. She'd loaded it with inferno ammo. The head exploded and the body caught fire. Suddenly there were gurgling sounds in all directions. One of the things came running at her blind. Two shots, it was down. Vakarian was close on her six. Tali had taken the other side of the crate to try and flank them. Shepard moved quickly into a more open area. She needed to see them coming.

Gunfire. Tali shot of a few rounds from her shotgun. Her targets swiss cheese with holes. Some kind of greenish yellow goo oozed out of them. Shepard though she was going to lurch. A loud shot rang by her head. One of the creatures crumpled to the ground just behind her. Vakarian had sniped it. He didn't wait for a nod. He just kept firing. She shot one off Tali, then repaid Vakarian, pushing one back with a wave of biotics into a crate. It spattered like a bug.

"I think that's the last of them," said the turian. "Let's find Dr. Heart."

They found the door on the other end of the room. Two more smaller rooms and the cockpit remained. Shepard checked the cockpit first. Nothing. The the room on her left. Nothing. There was one life sign in the last room. It had to be the geneticist. They readied their weapons. Shepard opened the door.

"Thank you for saving me from those things!" a elderly looking salarian praised them when they entered the doorway, effectively blocking any escape.

"Commander," Garrus turned his head sharply to Shepard. "That's him. That's Dr. Saleon." He glared at the salarian.

"What? My name is Heart. Dr. Heart! Please, get me out of here." salarian sounded panicked.

"Are you sure it's him?" She was eyeing the 'doctor' carefully.

"Positive." He looked at her with confidence. He turned back to the doctor. "There's no escape this time, Doctor. I'd harvest _your_ organs first, but we don't have time." He was enjoying this.

"You're crazy." the doctor seethed at the turian. "He's crazy!" He shouted at Shepard. "Don't let him do this to me!" he pleaed.

"Put him out of his misery so we can get going."

"Gladly." Garrus said to her. He studied her face for a second. It was hard, but not stern. He raised his rifle and took aim. "Your days of butchering are over, Doctor." His own gaze was steel.

"No, please... Please!" the doctor ran to the other end of the room, hoping to take cover. There was no escape, only delay.

Garrus took one shot at the back of the salarian's head. That was all he needed. "That was..." he tilted his head back, eyeing the dead body. "satisfying."

"Good, remember that feeling. That's how it should be." Shepard told him. She wanted him to feel pride for delivering due justice.

"I will, Commander." They exchanged glances. Hers was of a mentor. His was of admiration. "Well, I guess we're done here."

Shepard nodded. "Move out."


	9. Grounded

She had more evidence against Saren. Evidence of the Reapers and that an attack was being planed against the Citadel. It was time to go back. Maybe the Council would listen. Their hollo chats weren't going so well. The asinine asari, the sophomoric salarian, that... trifling turian! They were driving her crazy. She wanted to poke them in the eye. They obviously weren't using them to see the truth! She was so stressed out. She wondered what the merchant was doing...

"Oh, hi... Commander. Looking for supplies?" he asked, hopeful. She had that look in her eye again and he wasn't sure he could take it anymore. She was rough. Like, broke his nose once, rough. It didn't feel like sex. It felt like punishment.

"Maybe, let's see what you've got." She answered with a wicked grin.

That was usually the answer she gave when she was needed some 'relief'. He tried to think of something he could say to turn her down without getting tossed out an air lock.

"Uh... not much today, I'm afraid. You bought most of my stock the last time. I don't have anything that upgrades what you already have."

"What if I want more of what I got last time, do you have any more of those?" She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Uhm, no. Uh, you got everything I have." He was getting nervous. He was almost afraid she would take him by the nose and drag him off whether he wanted to go or not.

"Well, I guess I should get back to my duties then." she almost growled at him. She pretty sure the guy was about to piss himself anyway. Not what she needed. Who was she kidding. What she needed was in a box under the dirt somewhere, or burned to ash or whatever turians did with their dead.

Turian. The one working on the mako was fast becoming a good friend. It was hard to accept. He'd thanked her for taking him with her. He wanted Saren almost as much as she did. He had his own reasons. He had been insistent. He also thanked her for Dr. Saleon. He told her how good it felt to be the one to deliver justice for all those people. How it cleared his conscious of guilt for the doctor getting away on his watch. He was a good guy. She'd keep him around a while longer. The rest could go to hell, especially Alenko... damn boy scout. She thought about intruding into his quarters and teaching him how to be a man, but it made her sick to her stomach.

Shepard was furious. Her lips were pressed into a thin line when she sat down in front of Anderson in Flux. The Council interpreted her information as a threat by Saren to attack the Citadel. They were over confident and people were going to pay for it with their lives. Why did they bother making her a Spectre if they weren't going to listen to a damn word she said and belive her with out some ridiculous, impossible to find 'proof'. If it was this irritating to have no limits on your authority she could certainly sympathize with what Garrus had gone through in C-Sec. On top of all that Udina had grounded her and locked her out of her own ship. The only think she could think of that she hated more than the Council and Udina was Saren. She glowered up at Anderson.

"I'm glad you came, Shepard. I heard what happened." Anderson had a drink at hand.

"They pulled me off the mission." She seethed.

"I know. I'm sorry. I wanted to warn you, but there was no way to get a message through before you docked." Anderson apologized. "I know you're pissed off right now, but you can't give up." Anderson shook his head and leaning forward with his elbows sticking out like wings. "They all think this is over, but we both know it's not. You have to go to Illos. You have to stop Saren from using the Conduit." He sat back and relaxed his arms.

"There's only one ship that can get me into the Terminis Systems undetected and she's grounded." Shepard's brow was knitted in a scowl.

"Citadel Control's locked out all the Normandy's systems, but if we override the ambassador's orders, we can get them to bring the Normandy back online. You can be in the Terminus Systems before anyone even knows you're gone."

"If we steal the Normandy, you're the one left holding the bag." She was interested, but cautious.

"And if Saren finds the Conduit life as we know it is over. The Reapers will destroy us, Humans, asari, everybody!" He waved a hand. "You're the only one who can stop him, Shepard. So I"ll do whatever it takes to get you on the Normandy and off this station."

Shepard thought for a moment. She wanted to stop Saren. She needed to stop him, and not just for herself and her personal justice. The weight of all the life in the galaxy was on her shoulders. She suddenly felt it boring down on her as Anderson's words drug her kicking and screaming out from under the rock she'd been brooding under.

"Stealing the Normandy is mutiny. What if the crew won't help me?"

"The Normandy's your ship now, Commander. Her crew will follow you to the ends of the galaxy. We both know that." Anderson said with certainty.

Garrus and Alenko were standing behind her. She'd kinda hoped Alenko would wonder off and she could just leave him behind when she did find a way off the station. Looked like she was stuck with him now. Garrus stepped forward. His demeanor was apologetic for intruding on the conversation, but he also had confidence.

"We'll follow you anywhere you need to go to stop Seren, Commander." He confirmed Anderson's statement.

Shepard nodded to Garrus. He hoped he hadn't over stepped his bounds.

"I won't forget this, Captain. I promise." Shepard told Anderson.

"I can unlock the Normandy from one of the consoles in the Citadel Control Center." He was doing the chicken wing thing again. "You'll have a few minutes before anyone realizes what happened."

"That's a restricted area, patrolled by armed guards, how're you gonna get in?" Garrus asked.

"You leave that to me, " Anderson glanced up to the turian. "Just make sure you're _in_ the Normandy when the systems come back online."

"There's gotta be another way." Shepard needed the Normandy, but she didn't need swiss cheese for a Captain.

"Ambassador Udina issued the lock down order." He relaxed into the chair again. " If I can hack into the computer in his office, maybe I can over ride it." He motioned with his hands.

"He's not going to let you waltz into his office and use his computer." Alenko piped in. Shepard felt like smacking him _with_ a pipe.

"Hopefully he won't be there. If he is... I'll just have to think of something." Anderson rubbed his arm.

"Udina won't let this slide, Captain. You'll be charged with treason, a capital offense." Alenko said.

"Why won't you shut it?" Shepard wanted to scream at him, but she bit her tongue. She thought about Williams and wondered if she should have let Alenko die instead. They were both annoying. Williams was always bragging about her perfect family and her God. Turians worshiped their ancestors. At least they knew they were talking to dead people.

"We don't have a lot of options." Anderson shut him down. "I break into the ambassador's computer or I take my chances with the patrols in Citadel Control."

Shepard stood up. She was ready to go.

"You'll have a better chance if you go after the the ambassador's computer."

"I was hoping you'd say that." Anderson admitted. "The ambassador has made this personal." He eyed her for a moment. "You ready to get the hell off this station, Commander?"

"Let's do it." She said. Her face was firm and determined.

"I'll take care of the lock down. You get down to the Normandy and tell Joker to stand by." Anderson left.

Shepard turned to the two men with her. She had to give Kaiden some credit for speaking up, but she still hated him. Garrus was a different story. She had some respect for him. She nodded to him again and they left Flux for the Normandy. The next time they saw Udina he would be favoring the left side of his face when he talked.

Shepard was at Joker's side. He was rubbing his thumb against his fingers, waiting. He gave Shepard a look with a raised brow. The lock out indicator Normandy's control board in the cockpit went green.

"Let's go. Get us outta here, Joker. Now." She left him to it.

Joker smiled as he reached toward the controls with a glint in his eye. He was really starting to like the Commander. She came back to check on him a few minutes latter.

"Aww, damn it! No sign of pursuit? I was hoping the Council would send some ships after us! I was looking forward t'puttn' the Normandy through her paces. Figured I'd get to see what this ship could really do." He looked up at Shepard.

"Saren's still out there. Maybe we'll get a chance to play hide and seek with Sovereign."

"You know it dosen't sound like much fun when _you_ say it, Commander."

"I'll see ya later." Shepard said and headed for the elevator. Everyone she passed was whispering about their disbelief that they had stolen the Normandy. She took the elevator to the cargo bay. The merchant looked nervous when she got off. She ignored him, to his relief, and went strait to Garrus.

"I can't believe we stole the Normandy. I know we'll all be court-marshaled if this dosen't work out, but part of me loves this!" He skipped the 'hi how are ya's in his excitement. "If you're wrong, we'll pay for it, but if you're right and we did nothing? I think we'd regret it a whole lot more. I just hope we can catch Saren before they realize we're missing."

"We'll catch him. Just be ready when we do."

"I'm right behind you, Shepard."

Shepard nodded and checked in with the other team members. Wrex thought she was crazy, like everyone else, but he admired her for it. Krogan... what are you going to do. Tali thought it was all very 'exciting'. Shepard made the conversation short. Tali seemed to be high strung enough as it was, she didn't want to know what at quarian did when they were 'excited'.

Shepard made the jump for Ilos. She wasn't messing around this time. Before she could hit 'go' she got a message from 5th fleet. Some kind of nuke needed disarming and she, of-corse, was the 'only one' who could do the job for whatever reason. She agreed, reluctantly, and set a new corse.

It turned out some nut job had moved the bomb as a lure for her and trapped her in a mine to die when it went off. Unfortunately for her would be murderer, Garrus and Tali were the best techs she had and they were with her.

"Ok. let's disarm this thing and get the hell outta here." She told her team.

"We'd better hurry." Agreed Tali

Shepard resisted the urge to slap had a knack for stating the obvious and it wasn't the first time on the trip. She worked fast though, so Shepard decided to forgive her. They found an exit that opened out onto a steep decline. At the bottom was the nut job and his buddies. They didn't live long.

"Note to self," Shepard thought. "Never let the bad guy live to tell the tale." She approached the body of the man responsible. He was still alive and trying to crawl away. She implemented her new rule with a bullet in his brain.

Back on the Normandy Shepard re-entered the coordinate for Ilos. She also made sure 5th fleet knew what the real deal was. They were apologetic, but thankful she'd taken out the nuke. She was pissed. They got what they wanted, the bomb was disarmed. They didn't care that it was a ploy to get her, and she, and her team almost died for it. She wouldn't be so willing to help them next time.

She had finally moved into the Captain's quarters. She couldn't stand the old memories any more. Every time she looked at the clock, or the floor, in the middle of the night... Every time she heard someone walk by her door, she thought of Nihlus. She would take out the hollo of him and put it on he desk next to the ID tags. Then she would curl up with the pajama top and cry herself to sleep. She was miserable and it was making her hard and bitter. So, after Anderson had reminded her of what she was here to do, she moved out. It was hard. Harder than she thought it would be. She still had the mementoes, but she kept them in the top dewar of the desk. It still pained her greatly, but it wasn't agonizing to be alone at night anymore.

Ilos. Finally. And it didn't go as planed, of-corse. They shot up some geth, heard a broken record and then a smart one, Vigil. Saren was there. She was hot on his trail and was stopped by a damned AI to tell her crap she already knew or things that didn't matter. She didn't need all the details. She just needed to stop the Reapers from coming through the Citadel. When they got to the Conduit they found it guarded by geth colossas'.

"I'm going to make a run for it. We've got 15 seconds. Make your last peace on the way." Shepard almost growled at her team. She was seething with rage. She pushed the throttle to full and took the controls. It was a ruff ride, but the upgrades Garrus had made eased the bounce a bit. Shepard punched the ignition for the jet boosters. The mako jumped several meters in the air before landing hard on top of a collossas. The Mako rolled then righted.

"Good idea with the seat belts, Garrus." She shouted to him. He was looking up set in a back seat. Then she pushed the throttle again forcing everyone back into their seats. The conduit looked eerily like the sculpture on the Presidium. She hit it full force. The shock of the power it wielded propelling them though space and time at ungodly speeds made her head feel like it was going to implode. When the sudden vertigo of gravity hit them as they were shot out of the exit point and rolled to a stop against a wall, hitting several smaller objects on the way, well... Shepard may have lost her lunch in the cockpit of the Mako. She wasn't alone.


	10. Face Off

Saren had locked the elevator, but she was determined. She blasted through the elevator window, geth, krogans, ani-air craft turrets, several geth collossas' and she was running up the steps to stop Seren from punching in the manual code to let the Reapers flood the Citadel. Sovereign was already tapping into the Citadel's systems, waiting for Saren's assistance.

Shepard heart pounded in her chest, her ears, her head. She vaguely noticed the smell of the burning cherry blossom trees and the crackle of fire. She was focused. She had one goal and it was not to take Saren to the Council for judgment. _She _would be his judge and his executioner. She could see him tapping on the transparent orange screen of the console. She lost sight for a few seconds as she ran up the stairs, gun at the ready, her finger already putting pressure on the trigger. Saren was gone. She narrowed her eyes. He had to be near by. She heard the soft whir of engines. Saren appeared on the same hover craft he'd manned on Vermire and he was sending an explosive her way. She and her team leaped from the blast zone, barely. She found cover behind one of the stone flower boxes that separated sections of stair.

"I was _afraid_ you wouldn't make it in_ time_, Shepard." Saren remarked from his high ground.

"In time for _what_? Fighting through geth is tough work." She spat back.

"The final confrontation. I think we both expected it would end like this."

Shepard couldn't take it anymore. Somehow Saren knew. He _had_ too know.

"Why did _we_ _know_ it had to end like this? Why did you kill Spectre Agent Nihlus Kryik? You were his friend and mentor! He trusted you!"

"As he trusted _you_, Shepard. Did you think I wouldn't _smell_ you on him? Or that I would not smell his mark on you during our encounter on Vermire? A turian's _bonding_ sent can last a _long_ time, Shepard." He was bluffing, but he knew his suspicions where right when she replied to him with such anger and pain it could only be true. For a brief moment he felt remorse for killing Nihlus, guilt for taking his student and friend away from the one thing he'd ever wanted. It was only a shame he'd found it in a human.

"You killed him for spite? Because of Us?"Shepard shouted at him, she tried to hide the threat of tears choking her throat, but she could hear them in her own words. "I will _avenge_ him, Saren! I will_ kill _you, and I _will_ stop the Reapers! I'm heading to that master control panel, and you _can't _stop me!" She dared a look at him, her face full of hate, her teeth bared like an animal.

"You've lost. You _know_ that don't you? In a few minutes Sovereign will have full control of all the Citadel's systems. The relay will open and the Reapers will return." Saren .

"You survived our encounter on Vermire, but I've changed since then, improved. Sovereign has... updated me."

"You let Sovereign _implant_ you? Are you _insane_?" She shouted.

"I suppose I should thank you, Shepard. After Vermire I couldn't stop thinking about what you said. About Sovereign manipulating me. About indoctrination. The doubts began to eat away at me. Sovereign sensed my hesitation. I was implanted to strengthen my resolve." Saren made a fist. "Now my doubts are gone. I believe in Sovereign completely. I understand that the Reapers need organics. Join us and Sovereign will find a place for you too."

"I'd rather die than live like that!"

"You can't stop them forever. The Reapers are too powerful. You _will_ die, and your companions. Everyone you know and love. Everyone who you've ever met. Don't you understand? You will all die! The Reapers can't be stopped, not by the Protheans, not by you. The cycle always continues."

"You already killed the one I love! What can the Reapers take from me now? I'm not afraid of you and I'm not afraid of the Reapers! If I die, it will be fighting! You should have fought, Saren. You should have protected your friend, not shoot him in the back like a damn coward. That's what you are, Saren, a coward. There is no honor in what you're doing. You've failed your ancestors!"

"Don't you see? It'surrender or death. There are no other options."

"You'll die anyway. When the Reapers have completed their conquest they'll cast you aside! Some part of you must realize this is can still end this. You can fight this!"

"Perhaps you're right. Maybe there is still a chance for...grrah.." Saren trailed off, his body shocked with pain. "Ah..., the implants. Sovereign is too strong. I'm sorry..." The guilt he carried heavy on his heart. "It is too late for me."

Shepard left cover to face him. To face the demon within herself.

"This isn't over! You can still redeem yourself!"

"Good-bye, Shepard. Thank you." In the seconds between his words and the self-inflicted gun-shot to the face that killed him, Saren was himself. Free from the influence of Sovereign. In those few seconds he felt only the pain and responsibility for the evils he had done.

Saren's body faltered, then fell through the glass of the green house below, hitting the ground with a dull thud.

Garrus lingered behind cover for several seconds while Shepard approached the master control panel. His mind reeled at everything he'd just herd. Shepard and Kryik had been a mated pair? Had bonded? It was more than he had time to process just then. Shepard was punching buttons on the controls when he ran up the pier. Wrex eyed him briefly, then grunted.

"Vigil's data file worked." Shepard spun on her heals to face them. "I've got control of all systems."

"Quick, open the stations arms. Maybe the fleet can take Sovereign down before he regains control of the station." Garrus advised.

"See if you can open a communications chanel." suggested Wrex.

Shepard's omni-tool came to life on her arm as she hit a few buttons. A fuzzy distress signal focused in.

"... the Destiny Ascension. Main drives off line. Kinetic barriers at forty percent. The council is aboard. I repeat, the Council is on board."

Shepard paced as the message came through.

"Normandy to the Citadel. Normandy to the Citadel... Please tell me that's you, Commander." Joker's voice was staticy over the radio.

"I'm here, Joker. Were you expecting someone else?" Shepard answered him.

"We caught that distress signal, Commander. I'm sitting here in the Anduras sector with the entire Arturas fleet. We can save the Ascension. Just unlock the relays around the Citadel and we'll send the calvary in."

"You'd sacrifice human lives to save the Council? What have they ever done for you're kind?" Wrex pointed out.

"This is bigger than humanity. Sovereign is a threat to every organic species in the galaxy." argued Garrus.

"That's why you can't throw away reinforcements trying to save the Council. Hold them back until the Citadel arms open and the human fleet can go after Sovereign." Wrex knew battle strategy. He did lead an small army against his father, after all.

"What's the order, Commander?" Joker asked over the com.

Shepard closed her eyes to think. The council made her a Spectre, they were trying for humanity... as much as she hated their stubbornness to see this coming, if the leaders of the Citadel were taken out then the Reapers would have won this battle. They would be weakened and in chaos. An easier target for the Reapers.

"I'm opening the relays now, Joker. We need to save the Ascension, if we can. But don't throw you're life away."

"I hope you know what you're doing, Commander." mumbled Wrex.

Shepard couldn't see or hear the battle outside, but she was confident in her ship and in Joker. He'd proven his abilities to handle the ship.

Shepard walked to the end of the pier. Garrus followed behind her and peered over the edge to see Saren's body. Shepard tilted her head toward him, not taking her eyes from Saren's body.

"Make sure he's dead." Her words were laced with the poison of her hate.


	11. Sovereign

Garrus and Wrex dropped down to the green house floor. Garrus took several quick steps toward his target. His senses were heightened with the adrenaline rush. He could hear Wrex's heavy breathing and the swish of the grass under his feet, the crunch of the dirt. He could smell Saren's remains tainted with the sharp metal tang of his implants and cybernetics. He did not hesitate when he aimed his rifle at what was left of Saren's head and fired. He watched the last bit of brain matter spay out onto the ground with a sickening wet sound.

"He's dead." Wrex confirmed over the com.

They started to walk away. They still had to find a way to stop Sovereign. The ships outside were attacking him, but if they could find another way to help... The ground shook violently beneath their feet. Red flashes of light flickered on the walls. They turned back to see Saren's body convulsing and _screaming_ as arches of red energy electrified the implants. An explosion knocked them to the ground. The pier was shook loose it flung Shepard to the ground. She recovered the quickest, in time to see the flesh of him fall away, still screaming. A new, synthetic creature arose from the ashes with glowing red eyes. Shepard's skin crawled over her body. Her mind wanted to scream, was sending commands to her legs to run, but her higher processes knew it was only a machine that had risen from the dead and she steeled herself. The creature... the machine crouched to the ground like a giant metal frog and jumped to the support beams over head. She loaded her gun with tungsten rounds. She had a feeling she would need it.

"I am Sovereign," It growled in the multi tone of a turian voice, but it was wrong. It was to mechanical. "And this station is mine." 'Sovereign' moved with an un-natural speed. The movement's themselves were strange and evoked a chill in her. He jumped from floor to beam to wall all around the room firing red beams like lasers or blasts of plasma at them.

"Scatter, divide his attention!"Shepard commanded over the com.

She took cover and fired on Sovereign. He was too fast. Most of her shots missed. She tossed grenades and caught him with the debris. She was alight with blue flame firing warp or used her omni-tool to try and overload his systems. When an attack hit him, it seemed to do some damage, but that was the problem. Hitting the damn thing.

"Hold still and let me kill you, you fucking son of a bitch!" She screamed at it.

Garrus fired concussive shots whenever Sovereign paused before making a jump. Tali nailed it with her shot gun. She had been favoring that weapon lately.

"My shields are down!"

Shepard heard Garrus over the com.

"Take cover until they recover! Tali, give him cover fire!"

Shepard took an opportunity to fire several rounds into Sovereign as he scuttled across the floor. It was headed for Garrus. Shepard mind went blank. Her body acted on it's own as she ran for the synthetic at full force, tackling him like she was intercepting a touch down. She was screaming. She got in a few good hits with the but of her rifle before it flung her to the ground and jumped to a wall.

The force with which she'd been thrown knocked the wind out of her. She didn't have time to lay there and recover. She tried to force herself to get up. She couldn't. Her body wouldn't respond. Stars spotted her vision. Her shields took several hits. She was down and Sovereign knew it.

Garrus and Tali were firing. His shields were back online. She felt his strong talons grab her under each arm and drag her behind some temporary cover. His face appeared over hers. For a few moments she was looking into the white painted face of Nihlus, his green eyes intently on her.

"Get up, Shepard!" Garrus was shouting in her face. He could see she couldn't breath, but he didn't know what to do about it. He fired three shots over the boulder they were hiding behind and then returned his attention to Shepard. She was coughing.

Shepard didn't hear Garrus' voice or his words. She heard Nihlus. His deep reverberating tones echoing above her as from a great distance.

"Sonya, get up. Open your lungs and breath." Nihlus wasn't shouting or frantic. His command was soothing. She thought she could feel his hand over her chest. Suddenly the vision was gone and something in her chest released and air rushed into her lungs. She sat up coughing.

"Commander!" Garrus shouted, "Nice of you to join us! Do you think you can help us out here?"

"Nihlus?" She was confused and disoriented. There was a voice in her mind, not her own, urging her to move and fast.

Shepard grabbed her gun and fired at the abomination on the wall. She rolled out of the way in time to miss being vaporized by three plasma bursts.

"Fire, fire, fire!" She shouted.

They threw everything they had left at him. It was unclear who took the final shot as the body crumpled to the ground and disintegrated in red fiery embers.

Outside there was a deafening explosion that shook the ground. Shepard's eyes shot to the window. Something very large and back was falling strait for them.

"GO!" She shouted to her team. That's all she had time to say before the mass broke through the glass and slamming into the tower. It over took her before she could get out of the way. She rolled onto her back and found a darker area of the debris. It could be a hole, or it could be a protrusion. She would find out soon enough. She was dead if she didn't do something, now. Shepard threw herself under it as the tentacle of Sovereign crashed to the ground. Something metal hit her hard and knocked her several feet from where she'd intended to land, then blackness.

Alarms were sounding all over the Citadel. The smell of smoke was heavy in the air. He herd movement. Suddenly a blinding light was shining on his face. A white haired human was saying something he couldn't understand. His head ached, his body was in pain. He was pretty sure his arm or something was broken. His nostrils burned with ash and the smell of the krogan next to him. The human helped him to his feet. Another human ducked under the wreckage. He recognized him. Something about being someone's son. A Captain. Anderson. It was Captain Anderson. It all came flooding back. Anderson was saying it was ok. That he was safe and everything was going to be alright. But it wouldn't be. Shepard was not here. She had been hit by the debris. He saw it hit her, knock her to the ground as it crashed on top of her. The first human Spectre. The human who'd loved a turian. His friend.

"Where's the Commander?" Anderson asked the turian in earnest.

Garrus' heart was in the pit of his stomach. He looked toward the arm of the ship, Sovereign, that had claimed her life. He knew his hope was futile, but he did it anyway, offering a silent prayer to the spirits. He never prayed. He didn't believe in that stuff. He hoped that belief wasn't a prerequisite for prayer.

It took three men to help Wrex to his feet. Anderson helped Garrus stand as two more supported the turian as he started to hobble away from the wreckage. Anderson took one last look at the black metal mass in the center of the chamber. He was about to look away when he thought he saw something.

Shepard was on the ground. She could breath. She sat up slowly, her finger dragging over the soft feel of grass. She looked around her, there was nothing. She was alone in the only lighted area of what seemed like a vast open space. She couldn't see it, but she felt it somehow. Pain shot up one arm. She winced and cradled it to her chest. It was probably broken.

"It is not you're time, Sonya." A deep voice echoed to her out of the darkness. "You will die, one day. Today is not that day."

She squinted her eyes trying to see past the light into the black. She could vaguely make out something white in the shadows floating about seven or eight feet in the air. It was coming toward her. He grabbed for her gun and fired. Her efforts were awarded with a dull click.

"Who's out there? Show yourself!" She shouted.

She was answered with a familiar sight as the white object became a design and a face on a body she knew well.

"Nihlus...?" She whispered in disbelief. "But I saw you're... How can this be?"

He offered a taloned hand and helped her to her feet.

"I can't answer that question. I can tell you that it is the first time this has happened." He looked deep into her dark brown eyes. Tears were running down her face. It took all his will to touch her face and wipe away the salty wetness from one cheek. "You have to go back, my love. You're time is not done."

"I've stopped Saren and I've stopped Sovereign. I don't want to go back, I want to stay here with you!" She took a step toward him. He backed away and held up his taloned hand, still wet with her tears, to stop her. His mandibles twitched. She looked at him hurt and confused.

"You cannot. I am sorry. This is a place where only the dead of my people can go, Sonya. What you are being allowed see is a great gift. I've been granted the ability to help you. I do not have much time." He did not give her time to speak before continuing. "Be strong. The Reapers have other ways to leave dark space. You must stop them." His face was stern.

"I miss you." She struggled to keep the pain from her voice and failed.

Nihlus' features softened and his brow furrowed.

"And I miss you, my love. Because you are here, it is possible that you might return in death. Now you _must_ return to the realm of the living." He started to back away.

"No, _please_..." She shouted, then whispered, begged "Let me touch you."

Nihlus halted in his tracks.

"That is not my choice."

"Then who's is it?" She asked angrily. She turned her face up to the light. "Please... _please_ let me hold him one last time..." She waited for a booming voice or a breeze, anything. Nothing.

Nihlus seemed to hear something she did not and walked toward her. He took her in his arms and pressed her hard against him, resting his face in her hair, smelling her again. Feeling her body warm against him, her heart beating against his chest.

Shepard held him tight, ignoring the pain in her limb. Fresh tears streamed down her cheeks. His hard body comforted her. The familiar ridges and plates digging into her flesh a welcome and desired discomfort.

"I love you." She said as she turned her face to his. His green eyes seemed brighter in this place, as if they could pierce her soul.

"I love you." He tempted the fates when he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her. It was brief, but no less meaningful. When he broke the kiss he smiled at her and wiped away the tears. "Do not cry. I am always with you."

He gently backed away from her letting his talon trail down her arms and her fingers down his until only their finger tips touched. Shepard did her best to blink back the tears as she watched his face fade back into the blackness. When the last tip of his talons grazed her last digit, it drew a single drop of blood. The world around her bliped out of existence as she saw the red fluid color the grass.

Shepard woke. She could see the lights of the Citadel above her. The burning sent of ash and fire was in the air. She hear voiced shouting. A shooting pain electrified her arm. She cradled it to her stomach as she slowly sat up. It was broken. She felt a sharp pain at the end of her finger as she grabbed onto a secure looking piece of metal to pull her self to her feet. The metal was smooth, so she couldn't have pricked her finger on it. She looked at the small, perfectly oval wound. It had already clotted. Something in the back of her mind tickled, like a memory she coudn't quite recall. More shouting pulled back to reality. She had to get out from under the wreckage. She found a foot hold and ran up an incline.

Anderson narrowed his eyes. It was Commander Shepard. Tough bitch made it. Well, good. They could use her help.

Wrex was impressed. He'd never seen such a strong human, and a female to boot.

Garrus couldn't believe his eyes. His respect for her grew ten fold in that moment, and his admiration. His spirits soared. He couldn't keep the smile from spreading over his features as she made her way down the wreckage unscathed save a broken arm.

"Guess we've got something else in common, now." He thought to himself.

Anderson, Wrex and Garrus were all standing below her. They were alive. Garrus looked to Wrex and then back to her. He was smiling. She was glad her friend had survived and she smiled back.

The Council was grateful that she had saved their lives and the Citadel. They offered a seat on the Council to humanity and asked for her recommendation. Udina was with her as was Anderson. She narrowed her eyes at Udina before recommending Anderson. He'd helped her, believed her crazy vision, gave her his ship and risked his career. Udina had locked her out, grounded her, dismissed her visions that plagued her every night. He could get a job licking the floors clean for all she cared.

"We need someone with the courage to stand up for what he believes in. Someone like Captain Anderson." She looked to Anderson. She wanted him to know she hadn't forgot what he'd done for her.

"_Him_?" Udina scoffed. "Captain Anderson prefers to let his fists do the talking."

Shepard noticed Udina was speaking mostly with the right side of his mouth and smiled to herself.

"Only with you, Ambassador. Only with you." Anderson said with a strait face.

"Are you sure about this, Commander? The Captain's a soldier, not a politician." Udina argued.

"We've already got too many politicians on the Citadel. The Captain would be perfect for this job." She shut him down.

"I think it's an inspired choice. The Council would welcome him with open arms, should he accept." said the asari.

"I'm honored." Anderson clasped his hands behind his back. "As humanity's representative, I'll do everything within my power to help the Council rebuild."

The turian Councillor went on to say something about a 'new era'. Shepard reminded them that the Reapers were still coming and left without waiting for them to tell her they don't exist. They had just been attacked by one. If the Council still did not believe her, may their ancestors beat them over the head with a stick .

* * *

**Working on sequel. Thank you all for reading! I look forward to your reviews. ^_^**


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